Lessons From His Mistress
by GinjaSnap
Summary: When Alice decides to betray the man she married, who will pick up the pieces? Certainly not his brother's wife, right? But what if Bella decided that she'd give Alice one last chance to see where she went wrong? What if she taught her how she lost Jasper's love, one lesson at a time? Chapters get longer further in. AU/Non-Canon Couples, Edward/Bella, Bella/Jasper, Jasper/Alice
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **As you, dear reader, already know**, **Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight and I do not.

***** Prologue *****

When Alice opened the door that afternoon, the last person she expected to see was her sister-in-law.

"Bella, to what do I owe the pleasure of this unexpected visit?" She inquired, one perfectly sculpted eyebrow arched with just a tinge of acid lacing her voice.

Bella's face remained calm and composed, betraying no emotion, as she handed the woman a stack of cream colored envelopes, "I just wanted to drop these off."

Alice leaned against the open doorway, fake sincerity dripping off her tongue when she replied, "Is this a gift? For me? Sure you have the right person?

Bella sighed. Things had long grown cold between the two women, and it seemed being civil to one another was asking too much.

"They're letters, Alice. Just read them," was Bella's clipped reply as she turned around and made her way back to her van.

"I know what's going on," Alice shot towards the brunette walking away from her.

Bella stopped for just a moment before continuing on to her vehicle.

"I _know_ about you and Jasper. He may delete your texts and hide your emails, but I know about the two of you."

Bella briefly stopped her descent into the driver's seat and stared into the eyes of the woman who used to be her best friend, "That's the problem, Alice. There's so much you _don't know_. Read the letters."

And with those final words, Bella got into the van, backed out of the driveway, and left without another glance at the woman watching her exit, clutching a stack of handwritten letters in her ever tightening grasp.

_Dear Alice,_

_ I certainly never thought we'd find ourselves in this situation. We were best friends, weren't we?_

_It may sound cliché, but I didn't intend for this to happen. We were simply living life, day to day. You had Jasper, I had Edward. Family dinners on Sunday, our kids playing at the park and celebrating birthdays and holidays, side by side._

_But then you broke him. _

_In the beginning, I'll admit I felt some guilt. Whether it was guilt at going behind Edward's back or taking a man who didn't belong to me, or maybe a little of both, I can't say. All I know is, after I became a witness to the things you did to tear him down again and again until there was nothing left of the man you shared your wedding day with, the guilt disappeared. He was fair game. If you couldn't appreciate him, then I would. If you couldn't pay attention to him, then I would. If you couldn't love him, it didn't matter, because I did. _

_So, count this as me doing you a favor. Call it serving penance for my sins or an act of charity, but I'm going to teach you how I stole your husband. One lesson at a time, I'm going to show you how you made it so easy for me to occupy the place you once held his heart until all his confessions of love were directed my way. We'll say this is a last ditch effort I'm making to try and help you see the error of your ways so you can possibly change and salvage this sham of a marriage you have. _

_Take my advice. Ignore my every word. It's your choice. But the clock is ticking and when time runs out, if you're still not hearing me, I'll take him. For good. No saying I'm sorry, last minute confessionals, or pathetic attempts at sympathy will work. _

_Consider yourself warned._

_ Your Teacher, His Mistress,_

_ Bella_


	2. Chapter 2: Lesson 1 - The Breaking Point

**A/N: **This is my first foray into fan fiction writing. I'm not guaranteeing there will be a letter at the beginning of every chapter; after all, I feel the characters need a chance to move about the story on their own. Please review, leave feedback, let me know what you think.

And as always, Twilight belongs to Stephanie Meyers, but I'd be able to quit my day job if she'd share just a tiny bit with me.

***** Lesson 1: The Breaking Point *****

_Alice,_

_ Oh Alice, how could you? I know by now you're probably wondering whether I've invited Jasper into my bed, and if I have, then I am the proverbial pot calling the kettle black, but nevertheless, how could you cheat on him? _

_ Are you that desperate to be the center of attention? I realize that Claire was an unexpected surprise, and you figured you'd be closer to thirty before becoming a mom, but sometimes, we just have to grow up and become mature adults, whether we want to or not. The days of flirting with every available male that spared you a second glance are over. Certainly, we all want to feel attractive, even as we assume the role of wife and mother. But, feeling attractive and searching out affection from another man's bed is a whole different story._

_ He should have been enough for you. I sat by and watched how he doted on you, how he provided for your every need, and he is such a sweet and caring father. No little girl could ask for more. _

_ So, Lesson Number 1 – Fidelity. _

_Again, scoff all you will, seeing as I'm his mistress and you're his wife, but that was the breaking point. The day he returned from his business trip early to find you in bed with one of your boy toys was the day you opened the door wide open for me to take your place. He was so angry and bitter. Shattered. You broke his trust. You made him feel as though he was lacking. You tainted the love the two of you shared._

_ You want to fix this? From now on, remember, no matter whatever catches your eye; you've got something better at home._

_ Your Teacher, His Mistress,_

_ Bella_

The October evening sun was setting, bringing about cooler temperatures and the soothing sounds of a crackling fire. While the adults still remained quietly talking around the pit on the back porch, inside a small pile of cousins dozed as the final notes of _Frozen _came to a close on the television. Another beautiful Sunday evening spent enjoying each other's company at the Cullen household.

Bella gently placed a kiss on her husband's cheek, collecting the scattered wine glasses from around the fire as he discussed the latest football game with Emmett and Carlisle. Rosalie was in the house nursing the newest addition to the Cullen clan, sweet baby Alex. Esme and Alice were chatting about the interior design changes Alice was planning to make to her living room. Bella made her way into the kitchen and placed the stemware into the sink.

Hearing a shuffling sound behind her, she quickly turned and caught a glimpse of a familiar head of blonde curls. He never loses that surfer boy hair, no matter how much older we get, she thought to herself. Jasper was busy gathering up toys off the great room floor, trying very carefully not to disturb the three little girls snoozing on the couch.

Bella joined him in scooping up sippy cups and princess dolls. Jasper caught her eye as she was placing one more toy into the basket and gave her that lazy grin that had all the girls swooning back in high school.

"Are you and Alice heading out soon?" Bella inquired.

"Ssshhh, don't wake them up. Alice will have my head if Claire starts to have a melt down before we leave." Jasper replied.

True, Claire was soon approaching three, and Bella had been witness to more than one tearful tirade courtesy of the sleep-deprived tyke. No one wanted to end the Sunday night family get together on a sour note. The two adults moved back into the kitchen, Bella placing the sippy cups in the sink with the wine glasses, Jasper moving to lean against the kitchen counter.

"Are you okay, Jasper? You've been so quiet all evening. Your not one to dominate the conversation, but I just keep getting this feeling that something's not quite right."

"Alice is cheating on me."

Bella's head snapped over to look him in the eye. She could see the tensed jaw and balled up fists, but what was more disturbing was the vacant look in his eye, as if he was in shock, or had simply checked out on feeling any sort of emotion.

"Are you sure, Jasper? I mean, I know Alice likes to go on and on about how she wants to marry Adam Levine someday, but we all know it's just a silly crush. You two have been through thick and thin these past five years, what with her mother's death and the unexpected arrival of Claire."

"You know, I used to think she'd grow up. I realize she's just 25, and I know that we only married once we knew Claire was on the way, but" Jasper continued, "I thought after dating two years, we were ready. I was certainly thinking she was the one for me. We would have gotten engaged, regardless."  
>"Exactly, so why do you think she's having an affair?" Bella asked.<p>

Jasper released a short bark of a laugh, "Because I caught her, in our bed, tangled up in the sheets with one of her boyfriends from high school. I had planned on surprising her by returning from my business trip early. Guess that backfired. Seems, with all the traveling I've been doing lately, she's been lonely for affection and they ran into each other while she was at the movies with a girlfriend a few weeks back. I suppose you could say they were catching up with one another, at least with one another's bodies."

By now, his head had dropped forward to where his chin touched his chest, and he was pinching the bridge of his nose, eyes closed as if trying to erase the memory. He looked so lost and dejected. Bella couldn't begin to imagine the pain he was feeling, and honestly, she was at a loss as to what to do. She and Edward had always had smooth sailing when it came to their ten-year marriage. Take into account Emmett and Roaslie's fifteen years, Carlisle and Esme's thirty-five, and the Cullen family was a poster child for "happy ever after." Once they walked down the aisle, it was a done deal, till death do you part.

Alice was a bit of the wild child of the group, being nine years Jasper's junior, but still, an affair? Five years in and she was already looking for comfort in another man's arms? What was she thinking?

"Jasper, I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry. Does anyone else know?" Bella softly asked, having moved closer to her brother-in-law.

"No, and that's exactly how it's going to stay. No one needs to get involved in our mess. We'll sort it out. You just asked at a vulnerable moment, and the words just slipped out. I wasn't planning on sharing with the family. Please tell me you'll keep this to yourself," Jasper lifted his head in askance as he looked Bella in the eye.

"Yeah, sure, I won't say anything. I won't even mention it to Edward, but Jasper, you can't keep this bottled in. It's not your fault; surely the family will see that. No one needs to go through this pain by themselves."

Jasper started to walk towards the back door, looking over his shoulder, he replied, "Bella, I appreciate you listening, I do, but I've got this."

And with the quiet closing of the door, he was gone. Bella stood in the kitchen washing the cups one by one. She needed time to process this new information. She was fairly sure she wouldn't be able to walk outside without sending a lethal glare towards her sister-in-law, effectively betraying Jasper's trust. The war going on inside her battled back and forth between telling Edward, and keeping it all to herself.

After several minutes had passed, Bella's emotions had calmed down some and she was able to return to the family. Thankfully, Edward was ready to leave and they quickly said their goodbyes to everyone, gathering up Renee and Marie and heading home.

As they pulled out of the drive, Bella couldn't quite let go of the look on Jasper's face as he sat next to Alice on the back porch. Of course, everyone would accept that Jasper was taking the usual back seat to Alice's non-stop chatter. But for Bella, he just looked like a man, broken.


	3. Chapter 3: And So It Begins

**A/N: **Everything Twilight belongs to Stephanie Meyer, and being only three chapters in, I'm already tired of typing this statement.

Chapter 2 – And So It Begins

Two weeks.

That's how long she lasted, two weeks. For those fourteen days, Bella replayed their conversation over and over again in her head. She went to lunch with Alice, scrutinizing every word that came out of the girl's mouth, looking for any traces of infidelity and coming up empty-handed. If Alice was getting a little side action, she certainly wasn't sharing it with Bella. Not that she was surprised; being a Cullen wife, confessions of a steamy affair with anyone other than your husband would be an unwelcome topic of discussion.

And in that same stretch of time, Bella continue to observe Jasper.

Halloween was quickly approaching, and the family had loaded up their vehicles and journeyed out to the local pumpkin patch. The day's adventure had ended with a celebration of all things fall – jack-o'-lantern carving, roasting pumpkin seeds, apple cider, even s'mores shared around the fire. The men chased the girls and children around the large kitchen table, hands covered in gooey pumpkin innards, eliciting high-pitched shrieks and threats of revenge if they dare touch anyone with their sticky fingers.

It was one of those days that you store in your mental photo album to take out when times weren't so easy. One that appeals to all five senses, the sound of laughter shared, the crooked grin on a fat pumpkin carved by 8-year-old hands, the feel of strong arms wrapping around you while, together, you watch your children, the taste of gooey marshmallow spreading across your tongue, and the smell of the burning wood drifting through the air.

If you were a stranger looking in, you'd have thought the Cullen family was the picture of love and happiness. It was enviable, the small cozy nest they shared together.

But, Bella knew better. Jasper was certainly present, but he just wasn't always _there._ Given what she knew, she began to notice that Alice and Jasper barely said a word to each other. Jasper would smile and take part in the conversations around the table, but if he thought no one was looking, the smile would smooth out and the vacant look would return. The only time he ever really came alive, that he ever let down his guard, was when he loved on Claire.

He'd carried her around on his shoulders through the orchard, and he immediately gave in to the little girl's cried when she had screamed, "That one, daddy! That's the pumpkin I want!" spending the rest of the afternoon toting around a gourd that weighed almost as much as the toddler. She had run through the piles of leaves as fast her little legs could carry her, and he'd chased right behind, his gentle laughter floating on the fall breeze.

So, when she finally got a moment's break from the rest of the crew, Bella pulled Jasper to the side.

"Hey, how are you doing?"  
>"I'm fine," Jasper quickly replied.<p>

"You do realize I hate that word. Fine. Commit to an emotion, any emotion, the English language is full of them. I'm happy, sad, pissed, elated, depressed, or excited, anything but fine," was Bella's quick reply

Jasper's lips quirked into a half smile, "I'm not quite sure I have the capability of such a wide range of feelings. I am just a guy, after all. Fine's always worked out just fine with me."

"Ugh, have it your way, Mr. Stubborn. So, straying from the topic of getting in touch with your feelings, would you and Claire like to meet the girls and me at the park on Thursday? I know it's your day to pick up Claire from daycare, and I only work a half-day myself, so we could meet up around 3?"

"Is it going to turn into a therapy session where I'll need Kleenex? Because I have to mentally prepare myself for these things," he joked.

With a roll of her eyes and a slight huff, Bella replied, "I think I can rein my interrogation tactics in."

"Then yes, we'd love to."

But being just a girl, Jasper should have known, Bella wouldn't be able to make good on her words.

It only took a few second for Renee and Marie to spot their cousin over by the slides when they arrived at the park that Thursday. Bella was quickly abandoned, so she continued her leisurely pace over to the bench where Jasper was sitting. Upon hearing her approach, he glanced up and quickly accepted the insulated coffee cup she was holding in her hand.

"What's this?" Jasper asked.

"It's a peace offering, pumpkin spice latte," said Bella.

Jasper began to chuckle, "Peace offering? Could you have picked a more feminine beverage? Now I know I'm about to get in touch with my feelings."

"Oh, shut it. They're delicious. Take the stupid drink and stop questioning my motives already," was her snarky reply as she sat down next to him, "But, since you mentioned it…"  
>"I knew I'd been hoodwinked by your innocent play date invitation! What do you want to know, oh devious one?"<p>

"Jasper, I'm only concerned for you. You may have the rest of the family fooled, but not me. The only time you seem yourself anymore is around Claire. The rest of us get a look-alike stand in. What's going on with you and Alice?"

Jasper looked over at the brown-eyed girl he'd known for so many years, just staring before he said, "Alice has supposedly called off things with her new man, for now. After spending a few days giving each other the silent treatment, she finally broke down and explained that he didn't mean anything. She was just lonely, and had gotten lost in the new source of attention."

"And, do you believe her?"

"What choice do I have? I can't spend my every moment following her around, making sure she's staying good on her word."

Bella took a breath before she asked her next question, "So, what if she doesn't stop? What if she falls back to him again, or someone else?"

"What would you have me do, Bella? Ask her for a divorce? You work in a law office; you know how that will turn out. I'd be the single, full-time employed father with a job that takes him out of town. They'd give Claire to Alice before I even had a chance to state my case. I'd only see her every other weekend, and that would crush me. She's my little girl. I need to be there to tuck her in, and read her stories, and watch that god forsaken movie with the talking snowman at least once a day. I'd fall apart without her.

Whether Alice remains faithful to me or takes on ten lovers, I'll endure it to keep my daughter."

Bella knew the truth behind his words. The law truly wasn't on the man's side when it came to divorce and custody issues. Men were good for child support checks, and many would shout how they needed to step up and be a good dad to their children, but when it came to the Court handing out verdicts, fathers often ended up with little to no time with their children. It hurt Bella to see Jasper so relegated to a fate he had already decided on.

"So, that's it? You're just resigning yourself to this existence? Jasper, I know that you love Claire, and you're a great dad, but you deserve more than this!" exclaimed Bella, "There has to be another way."

Jasper gently smiled at her, "Come on, Bella; don't make it sound like this is a prison sentence. I like my job, I have my family and Claire, and they make me happy. Not to mention my own personal therapist, right?"

Looking back, Bella would realize that was the deciding moment for her and Jasper. She should have told him that she cared, but that she couldn't be his source of comfort and consolation. She was married to Edward, his own brother, and that's who he should be talking to, leaning on. Or maybe Emmett, or Carlisle, with his level-headed way of thinking, would have been a better alternative.

"Of course, Jasper, you know you can come to me anytime. I've kept your secret this long, I can be trusted."

"See? Life's not so bad when you focus on the positive. Now, I'm going to find out if I can keep three swings going at one time."

And with that statement, the conversation was over. Bella felt a slight twinge that she shouldn't have made herself so available to him, that somehow, even just in being a listening ear, she had crossed a line. But, watching him dote on all three little girls as he pushed them higher into the air, Bella knew she'd do anything in her power to make his days a little brighter. He deserved that much.


	4. Chapter 4: Lesson 2 - Cut

**A/N: **Twilight and all its characters belong to Stephanie Meyers, but this storyline is all mine.

*****Lesson 2: Cut*****

_Alice,_

_ So, by now, I'm sure you've gotten to the point that: you're pissed off, you've come to the conclusion that I'm a skanky slut or some other derogatory term; that you will make both Jasper and me pay for what we've done. Hell hath no fury and all that. But, I humbly request that you hold off on passing out your sentence on us a little while longer. I promise, I'll give you the opportunity to decide what to do with us in the near future, but please, hear me out first._

_ Lesson 2: Words Have Worth_

_ Somewhere between those first few dates when you and Jasper stared longingly into each other's eyes and today, it appears your assessment of the man has changed. I can remember, after you started coming around the family, while shopping with you and Rose, having to listen to how hot he looked in his gym clothes after he'd been playing ball with the guys, the hearts and flowers dates he took you on, and let's not forget, the fabulous sex._

_ Now? You cut him down at every turn. At first, I thought maybe he was just being overly sensitive or that maybe the atmosphere in your house was just off after your affair had come to light, but then I realized he was right. Whether it's his role as a husband, as a bread winner, or his caring of Claire, he can do nothing right by you. And, it isn't just him you say these things to. It's your friends, your family, and even social media. Jasper's failings have become quite the fodder for your Facebook posts these days._

_ Maybe no one taught you that words can be just as sharp and cutting as any blade. They tear at the inside, one tiny jagged sentence at a time, just as bruising as a physical blow and even harder to recover from. So, Jasper removed himself from the internet, he quit attending your family functions, and stopped hanging out with your friends, but he couldn't remove your from his life completely, not while you shared a house._

_ That's where I stepped in. For every wound you inflicted, I tried to bandage him. For every harsh word that fell from your lips, I found ten more to tell him just how wonderful he was, and he delighted in them all and we grew closer to one another._

_ Here's a suggestion, buy some duct tape. Find new friends that won't indulge your husband bashing sessions. Go to the book store and buy a book on compliments. _

_ You can't expect him to stand beside you, when you've made it your job to cut him down._

_ Your Teacher, His Mistress,_

_ Bella_

The doorbell chimed throughout Edward and Bella's suburban home.

"Babe, can you get that? I'm still trying to attach Tinkerbell's wings here," Edward asked as he tried for the sixth time to make the straps on Marie's wings shorter so they didn't droop off the tiny brunette's back.

Bella made her way to the door, thinking that it was a little early for the trick-or-treaters to start.

"Twick or Tweat, Auntie Bella!" cried a tiny voice.

"Oh my, if it isn't Queen Elsa coming to visit! You look beautiful, sweetie. Can I ask who did your hair?" Bella inquired of the child in the glittery ice blue costume.

"Daddy did it all by himself."  
>Bella broke into a grin, smothering her giggle before looking up at Jasper.<p>

"What can I say?" came his sheepish reply, "Braiding hair is not my forte."

"Claire, I mean, your majesty, if you want to go back into Renee's room, I think

we may have some special glitter spray that I could use to make you look even prettier."

Slippered feet took off in a flash,"Yeah! Sparkles!"

"Mind if I try my hand at doing the Queen's hair?" Bella asked.

"You're the best, Bella."

"Yeah, that's what they all say," she replied, already making her way towards the squeals that were coming out of the room down the hall.

"We are _never _getting them to sleep tonight. I think Edward was smart staying home to pass out candy instead of trying to coral three moving balls of energy through 50 houses."

Bella and Jasper stood on the sidewalk while watching the girls ring another doorbell, arms already outstretched in hopes of getting another brightly wrapped candy-coated treasure.

"Are you implying that allowing them to eat all the candy they want while obtaining more candy is a bad idea?" Jasper inquired.

"No, I'm saying _you_ are a pushover, and if they asked you to steal candy from the other children to increase their stash of sugar, you would," was Bella's reply.

"Yes, well, Alice is always saying that I spoil Claire too much, that I must love her more than I love my wife, since I always take Claire's side. How do you take a three-year-old's side? Why am I having to pick sides between a three-year-old and a grown woman anyhow?"

"Well, we all spoil our children from time to time, myself included. Look at it this way, you're setting the bar pretty high for whoever decides to try and win Claire's heart. I pity the poor guy who dares try to suggest that she isn't worth getting everything she desires out of life, or who even tries to give her less than 100% of his love and devotion."

"Good thing she's never dating, or getting married, or even talking to men when she grows up. I grew up with two brothers, so I know, men are just bad news. And anyhow, she has me. Who needs boys?"

Bella started to laugh as she watched a tiny ninja turtle fall under Claire's spell and hand her a piece of candy out of his bag, "Yeah, good luck with that."

They continued to follow behind the girls, quietly walking side by side, when Bella spoke up again, "I never asked, where is Alice this evening, anyhow? I figured she'd give Marie a run for her money as who was the prettiest pixie."  
>"She's at her sister's house for her annual Halloween party. She passed over being Tinkerbell, and went as a bee instead. I didn't realize bees these days went for the bustier, barely existent skirt, fish-net stockings and 4 inch heels look, but according to the fuzzy balls bouncy of her headband, that's what her costume was supposed to be.<p>

So, while flirting with every male in the place, she'll get completely plastered and spend the night there. Seeing as I am stiff and boring, her words not mine, I will be spending the rest of the night with a sugar crazed miniature snow queen."

"Aw, Jazz, I'm sorry. God, how do you even put up with her?"  
>"Easy, every time Claire asks me to hold her bag, I steal the good candy bars. I've hidden enough chocolate in my pockets to pass out from my very own self-induced sugar coma," he replied with a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.<p>

"You're a good man and an awesome dad, Mr. Cullen. Don't you forget that," Bella replied, hoping maybe her sincere words would erase some of the harpy's sting.


	5. Chapter 5: Drunken Confessional

**A/N – **Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyers. Does anyone know if the town of Forks, Washington does too?

Chapter 5 – Drunken Confessional

Bella and Edward had been asleep for several hours when Bella's cell phone began to ring around two in the morning. Thanks to her 'mom ears,' she quickly grabbed the phone and had slipped out of bed and into her bathroom before her husband could wake up.

"Jasper? Why are you calling me in the middle of the night?"

Her question was met with overly slurred speech, "Hey, Bella, do your therapist services include taxi service?"

"Are you drunk? Jasper, it's Tuesday. Did I miss the part of this conversation where you won the lottery, gave up employment and being a responsible adult for closing down the bar in the middle of the week?"

"Yeah, I kind of went out with a few of the guys after the game tonight, and one turned into two…turned into five. Anyhow, I need a ride, and I figured why not call my favorite life coach? So, can I have a ride home?"

"If you're willing to endure the choice words I have to say when I get there, then yeah, I'll be there in ten. Do not drink anything else, Jasper. "

"But I still have like half a beer, mom," was his petulant reply.

Adopting her authoritative voice while still whispering, Bella commanded, "Put. It. Down."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." And with a quick, " See you soon!" and some snickering, Jasper hung up his phone.

Bella stumbled through the dark, searching for any two shoes that she could slip on.

"Bella? What are you doing?" Edward mumbled sleepily.

"Go back to bed, honey. Alice called drunk and Jasper's home with Claire, so I'm gonna go pick her up and take her home."

"Do you want me to go instead?"

"No! No, I'm good. I'm already awake anyhow. Go back to sleep. Love you." And before he could reply, Bella had exited the room.

Bella pulled up in front of the sports bar at 2:15 in her silver mini-van finding it entertaining to be sharing space with pick-up trucks and sporty two-door cars.

_Yeah, I'm just blending right in around here. Don't mind the yoga pants and oversized t-shirt complete with messy ponytail and mascara smudges. Just pass me the peanuts and tell me the score._

Stepping through the front door, she realized the place was actually fairly empty. The bar tender was busy wiping things down, while the waitresses gathering up empty glasses didn't have quite the same cheerleader pep you come to expect when serving up hot wings during the big game. A few guys were over at the pool table finishing a round, and that's where she spotted him barely staying up right on a stool.

Bella made her way over, sneaking up behind him, and before picking up the empty bottle and slamming it down onto the table. "I'm fairly certain I said you were cut off before the call ended."

Jasper immediately slid the rest of the way off the stool, but managed to catch himself before the stumble turned into a fall. "Geez, Bells, give a man a heart attack. Peter finished it off, scout's honor."

That's when Bella noticed Jasper's best friend Peter was one of the guys with pool cue in hand.

Peter immediately sauntered over and placed an arm around her shoulder, "Bella! You are looking lovely as always, though this not exactly the 'bar hopping' attire I would expect. "

"God, Peter, you reek as bad as he does. And, this isn't exactly a night on the town. Please tell me I'm not your designated driver as well. No one told me this was a party of two," Bella glared at Jasper while she spoke.

"Nah, girl, I'm riding home with Evan over there." He gestured towards the other guy at the pool table, and Evan did a half-wave in Bella's direction.

"Well next time, how about we cut this little drinking adventure off about three hours earlier, okay boys? Good night Peter. Nice to meet you, Evan. Drive Safe" And with that, Bella turned around and began to make her way back out into the night, one blonde-haired, blue eyed male walking a less than straight path behind her.

Bella didn't even wait for Jasper to buckle his seat belt before she started to pull away. He leaned over until his head found a resting spot up against the glass. She gave him about two minutes before questioning, "So, pray tell, to what do I owe the honor of being your midnight chauffeur? Alice not taking your calls?"

Jasper's snarled reply was, "My darling wife is probably having late night phone sex on said device with her newest addition, Blake. They met at work. He's single, 28, and looking to decorate his new townhouse. I'm sure Alice will take great care to see that his bedroom is done to the highest standards. Or, at least, she'll probably take care of doing him."

Bella cringed at this newest piece of information. Not knowing what to say, she turned on the radio, flipping the channels till she found the local 90's station. Jasper started to sing off-key with Pearl Jam's "Jeremy."

"Hey Jasper? Who sings this song?" Bella asked.

"Seriously, Bella? This is classic Eddie Vedder. You have to love this song."

"Actually I do, but how about we let them sing it by themselves tonight?" She replied in an amused voice.

"Fine, Taylor Swift. How about you take the mic and sing us a tune?"

Bella's smile grew as she turned the radio over to CD and began to belt out "Let It Go" as dramatically as she could.

"For the love of all things holy, woman! Make it stop! I'm going to lose all my beer on your dashboard!"

By now, Bella had broken into a full laugh as she switched it back over to the radio. Adele's "To Make You Feel My Love" was playing and she softly started singing…

_I could make you happy, make your dreams come true.  
>Nothing that I wouldn't do.<br>Go to the ends of the Earth for you,  
>To make you feel my love<br>To make you feel my love_

Jasper's quiet voice broke the silence inside the van as Bella pulled into his drive. "Bella?"

"Hhmm?"

"Am I really that bad? I've been home more lately. I even tried going to dinner at her dad's,

which was a disaster. I'm really trying here, but it seems I can't do anything right, and now this other guy shows up. Am I that hard to love?" His sad words betrayed the hurt he was feeling from his wife's actions.

"Of course not, Jasper. You're one of the best. You know Alice had it rough growing up. An alcoholic father, a mother who was barely there. I'm not trying to make excuses, but I don't think she really knows how to do relationships period, let alone marriage."

Jasper slid out of the van's passenger seat and Bella followed him up the front walk, taking his keys from his hand and opening the front door. Jasper stumbled into the living room, kicking off his shoes and collapsing onto the sectional couch.

"Alice is at her sister's with Claire. I'm just gonna sleep here."

Bella grabbed the throw that was in the recliner and stretched it out as much as she could on his 6'2' frame. She bent over, brushing the curls from his forehead and placed a gentle kiss above his brow.

"Night, baby" she whispered as she stood up to leave.

"I like it when you call me baby" were the last words she heard as she was closing the front door.

Making her way back home, Bella was a mess of emotions. She'd had just about enough of her sister-in-law's infidelity and cruelty to Jasper. She was ready to murder the woman. Sorrow over Jasper's broken spirit took root in her heart. But the worst was the alarm bells that were now ringing even louder in her head over the little spark she'd felt when he had said he liked it when she called him baby. It made her want to turn around and curl up beside him under the too small blanket.

_What the hell have I gotten myself into?_

**A/N – **I know I may be moving a little slow here, but this isn't a race to the finish, and I'm not a fan of making Bella and Jasper's relationship a sex fest where they jump into bed after one conversation. Jasper wouldn't be a good guy if I wrote him that way.

I'm getting ready to head out to Haiti for a week to do some medical clinic/orphan care work. So, I'll try to post another chapter before I go, but, I can't promise. Please sign up to follow the story and I'll be back at it when I return.

As always, reviews and feedback are appreciated. Leave some love! _  
><em> 


	6. Chapter 6:Lesson 3- A Moment or Two

**A/N: **I'm back stateside. It was a heartbreaking, hard trip to Haiti this year, but I loved spending time with the people there. Unfortunately, I caught a virus on the last day which made the trip home wretched, and I've been recuperating. So, it's taken me a few days to return to writing. If you're interested, I added on to the Prologue in this story. Gave it a little Bella/Alice action. I am flying solo, no Beta on this gig, and I've been writing straight from my head, so sometimes, when I look back, I think it needs more and this time I made the addition. Thanks to those of you who have loved and followed Letters. It's been a great encouragement to me. And special thanks to NatalieLynn who keeps me on my toes and my head spinning with all her questions! You make me smile with how you think out the characters I put on paper.

As always, Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyers. I'm not trying to steal her gig, but I sure do appreciate the chance to switch things up a little!

***** Lesson 3: Just a Moment or Two *****

_Dear Alice,_

_ You know there are days when I look back and wonder how I ended up here. Truth is, I knew Jasper years before you came along. If I had wanted a different brother, if I felt such an attraction to Jasper, why did I marry Edward? Shouldn't I have realized sooner I was with the wrong man? And the answer is, I never looked at Jasper as anything more than my friend before you pushed him towards me._

_ He was so lonely, Alice. I'm sure you'll argue that every free moment he has is always spent with Claire or playing sports. You'd laugh at the thought that he was feeling any bit of isolation with a schedule that has family, friends, co-workers cramming the time slots. Yet, there was time for me, for someone who wanted to know what was going on inside that blonde head of his, asking how his day was. First it was just a conversation here and there, a text in the morning or at night. I always wondered where you were. That maybe if you had been by his side, curled up on the couch instead of out with the girls, he'd have shared his days with you instead of me. But after a while, I gave up feeling guilty, got angry with your behavior, and started filling in the gaps. What began so innocently slid into something more, and then I didn't want it to end, I wanted to keep him, and here we are._

_ Word of advice: learn to give him a moment or two of your day. You aren't roommates, Alice, you're husband and wife. Life is busy, that will never change. But you were meant to share it together, raise Claire together, enduring the ups and downs side-by-side. It doesn't take much, Jasper's always been pretty laid back. But it does take something._

_ Make the effort, Alice. Give him your time._

_ Your Teacher, His Mistress,_

_ Bella_

The morning after Jasper's late night bar rescue, Bella found herself at the head of the park trail getting ready for her morning jog. November had brought with it cooler temperatures, and as she searched for her workout playlist, she wondered how much longer these early morning runs would remain outdoors, and when the cold would force her back inside. Treadmills would allow her to remain active, but she always felt that running on them felt like being trapped in one place. The scenery didn't change, the fluorescent gym lights glared overhead, and what was normally an enjoyable activity became more like a chore.

She started placing her ear buds in her ears before stopping to send a quick text.

_**B:**_ Morning, sunshine. Hoping you're able to recover from last night's attempt to relive your fraternity days. – B

Bella hit send, a small smile on her face as she remembered his "baby" comment and headed down the trail.

It wasn't until later that morning, just before lunch that she received her reply.

_**J:**_ Good God, woman, you sent that text at 6! Who chooses to be up that early, let alone even attempt to talk? And, please tell me what heavy object did you bludgeon me with

when you left me on my couch? I can't get the pounding in my head to stop.

Bella giggled, thinking he probably _was_ miserable. It wasn't unusual for the boys to get a little tipsy at the New Year's Eve family get together every year, but they had all left their partying days behind with the advent of jobs, children, and responsibility.

_**B:**_ Some of us do find a reason to make it out of bed before ten. I was out for my morning run. I thought I'd check on you. I see hangover recovery time at age 34 isn't quite what it was at 25. I'll make sure to remember that next time I choose to close down the bars. ; )

_**J: **_I think that was an attempt to label me "old." I'm not sure as I cannot begin to think straight, or see straight for that matter. Called in to work this morning. Going to pass back out and pray things are better next time I try to open my eyes.

Bella shook her head at the fact that he had called in that day. It had bothered her that he seemed so down about trying to make things better at home, only to find Alice had moved on to Man # 2. Maybe she should give Alice a call, try and figure out just what was going on with the girl. After Claire had been born, Bella had looked forward to raising kids together. She'd been an only child, so she missed out on having siblings, and her cousins lived in a different state. When she had married into the Cullens, she finally got a taste of what being a part of a larger family meant. Rosalie and Emmett had married first, and had their three boys. Bella and Edward had been married ten years, having Renee who was 8 and Marie who was 6. Jasper took a little longer than his brothers to give up the single life, but he met Alice at 29, and they had Claire two years later. Bella had always enjoyed the company of her sister-in-laws.

But, something had changed with Alice over the last year or so. Bella hadn't paid much attention to it until Jasper's recent confessions. Now that her vision was a little more focused, she realized that Alice had taken to spending more time with her younger sister, Jessica. Jess was 22, just finishing up college, and living the young, single adult scene. Bella had glanced on Facebook recently and noticed that she and Alice appeared together in more than a few pictures, either at a concert or a party, oftentimes wearing revealing clothing and hanging off one young male or another. It was no wonder that Jasper had removed himself from the social media site. Bella wasn't sure what Esme or Carlisle would think, if they had seen the photos.

After debating whether it was a good idea to try and talk some sense into her sister-in-law, Bella sent another text to both Alice and Rosalie.

_**B: **_Hey girls! It's been forever since we've talked, wanna do lunch next week?

_**R: **_As long as we're done by 2, I'm in. I have to pick up the boys at school. Let me know when.

_**A: **_In the middle of a project, but I can manage Thursday. Giovanni's at noon?

_**B: **_Sounds good. See you then!

_**R: **_Looking forward to it!

The following Thursday, all three women sat at a small table next to the window of the Italian bistro. Having ordered their lunches already, they exchanged small talk.

"So, Bells," Rosalie inquired, "how's the fabulous, exciting world of law?"

"Same old, same old. Miserable people tearing each other apart any way they know how. Cheating spouses, fights over children, the house, the dog," Bella replied watching Alice's face to see if she'd react.

"Well, that is not only boring, but rather depressing. I don't see how you do it, having a front row seat to all that fighting over who gets the antique lamp." Alice stated, not showing an ounce of guilt on her petite features, "Me? I must have change, excitement, something new or else I'd creatively waste away. Thank God for new clients and new projects to keep the spark alive!"

_Yeah, I know all about your boredom, and needing a little excitement, _Bella thought to herself.

The girls chatted about Alice's newest project of renovating and decorating a townhouse on the East Side, Rosalie's volunteer work with a local rape crisis center, and Bella's "boring" life at the law firm. The conversation inevitably turned to family, and surprisingly, it was Rosalie who questioned the youngest Cullen wife.

"So, where have you been keeping yourself, Alice? You've missed Sunday dinner, and Jasper brought Claire to Emmett's last home football game but you were nowhere to be seen."

"Yes, well, we can't all be 100% Team Cullen all the time, can we Rose? I had family before I got married. I've been spending a little extra time with Jess. This is her final year at school, and you never know if she might move once she graduates. Since, mom's been gone; we've tended to stick a little closer together. If that means I miss a family dinner or two, so be it."

Rosalie seemed a little taken aback by the girl's sharp response, but still remained cordial when she replied, "I'm not complaining, Alice. We've just missed seeing you around. Jasper's just been the lone man out lately."

"As if my husband notices I'm gone. He's too busy giving into Claire's every whim, or chasing some hockey puck across the ice. Not to mention leaving town managing whatever new project Esme's engineering firm has him overseeing."

_Well, well, well, look whose bitterness has finally come to the surface._

"I think it's lovely that Jasper is so attentive to his daughter, but he can be a little crazy when it comes to sports. I'm sorry if things have been rough lately, Alice. Is there something going on? Anything we can do to help?" Bella asked.

"Well seeing as the rest of the family is just peachy 24/7, 365 days a year, I'm sure you'd have very little to offer in the way of help, ladies. And, I do believe it's time I got back to work. It's been fun, let's do it again soon."

With those final words, Alice dropped a twenty on the table and left Rose and Bella staring at her retreating form. Bella started to get her own wallet out of her purse when Rose interrupted.

"Emmett said he saw her out at a restaurant the other evening with a man. Alone."

Bella tried not to betray any emotion when she replied, "I'm sure it was a business meeting, Rose. Alice has to meet with her clients to go over design ideas. It's not uncommon for her to have single clients."

"Yes, but you and I don't choose to sit on the same side of the booth with single men, do we? Jasper hasn't been himself lately, Alice has been MIA from family functions, and I just know there's something going on there."

"Has Emmett talked with Jasper about what he saw?"  
>"No, he said Jasper would come to him if anything was wrong. It seemed odd to him, but you know Em, he thinks the best of others. He said they must have been looking over something and needed to see it side-by-side," Rosalie explained, "but I know my husband would have lost it if he found me in the same position."<p>

Bella decided to keep Jasper's confidence and closed the issue with, "Well, maybe Emmett could take him out for dinner one night. Have a guy's night. See if Jasper says anything."

The two girls got up to leave, Rosalie still looking skeptical, and Bella feeling torn between revealing what she knew and keeping her mouth shut.

**A/N: **Finally, an appearance from Alice. What'd ya think? Love her? Hate her? Think they can be put back together, or is it all falling apart? As always, I love the feedback, even if my writing doesn't answer every question you have. Till next time! -Ginja


	7. Chapter 7:As the Leaves Change, So Do We

**A/R: Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer, yada, yada, yada, and all that jazz.**

**On a side note, I realize my story is incomplete, but can I just say it drives me crazy when I get to the end of a new story that has me hooked only to realize that it isn't finished, and the last time the author updated was over two months ago? What's the chance of that writer coming back? I need to know what happens, people! So, a sincere thank you to those who have chosen to read and follow Letters. Honestly, I'd have passed me over until this thing was a done deal. I heart you for showing me some love even before I hit the "complete" button. **

***** Chapter 6 – As the Leaves Change, So Do We *****

Autumn leaves crunched under Bella's feet as she came to the end of the run trail. While the temperatures may have been cooler, therefore making breathing during these morning jogs a little more challenging, Bella couldn't find a reason to complain about the changing season. Gone were the days when every bit of workout gear was glued to her skin courtesy of the rising humidity, even at 6 a.m. Instead the crisp air helped wake her up, and the chance to take in the transition of once emerald leaves that were now painted marigold, burnt umber and tangerine was a delight to her eyes. Each sunrise exposed a little more color taking over the trees, until every branch was saturated with colorful foliage.

Life with a husband, two children and a full time job seemed like a constant whirlwind of activity at times; this little bit of morning she set aside for herself was a chance to breathe in some peace, to maintain some balance. Without it, every day tensions would accumulate and coil tightly within her until she snapped, striking like a pit viper at those around her.

So she hadn't expected to see, during her mental musings that November morning, a familiar face at the end of her run. But there he stood, leaning against the hood of his truck parked in the spot next to her van, both hands occupied by a set of drinks, a quick grin lighting up his features when she came into view.

With one hand on her hip, Bella questioned the man who was a holding what looked to be a strawberry smoothie out to her, "What on earth convinced you to leave your cozy cave at this god awful time of morning?"

"The manners my momma tried so hard to instill in me, m'am," Jasper replied with a quick bow of his head, humor coloring his tone, "I never said thank you for taking care of me at the bar that night, and that just isn't right. So, I dragged myself out with the sun and decided to bring you a humble offering to show my appreciation. I know I'm a little late with my efforts, but I've been out of town, so I hope you'll accept my sincere gesture of gratitude."

"I suppose I could, seeing as you came all this way at this unholy hour to bring me refreshment," Bella accepted the drink with a smile and took a quick sip before continuing, "How was your trip?"  
>"It's a new project of establishing a shopping center in a residential area. We're trying to encourage small businesses in the community, and the design incorporates a partnership between a family-park atmosphere and market style storefronts. We're not looking to appeal to large retail chains with corporate heads that exist in big cities; we want to nurture community, knowing who you're buying from, supporting each other. I'm still working with the city council, trying to convince them that it's worth a try, but I think we'll be moving ahead soon."<p>

Jasper was one of the lead project managers at Esme's engineering and design firm. He was the man they sent in first, to smooth talk the city officials, obtaining design approval and the needed building permits. Whether it was his easy going nature, or the fact that he seemed to fit in wherever he landed, Jasper had a way of getting people on board with whatever project the firm was proposing.

"Of course, as if there was ever a doubt that the local leaders wouldn't fall for your charm. Does anyone ever tell you no?" Bella teased.

"Besides Alice? Hmm….I think it's been a few years since I've heard the word."

"Since you brought her up, have you had a chance to talk to Emmett lately?"

"He's been pestering me to go out when I got back into town, why?"

"Well, Rosalie and I had lunch, and I don't mean to interfere with Emmett's plans, but I think he knows something's going on. I just think it might be good for you to share what's going on with him, to have someone else on your side," Bella explained.

Jasper stood up from his vehicle, and took a few steps towards the woods, keeping his eyes on the trees as he harshly replied, "Is that really what I need? Someone else to have a front row seat to the train wreck that is my marriage? Is it not enough that _I know_ I'm the family relationship failure, do I need another witness?"

"Jasper, I realize that things with Alice are bad, but the rest of the family is far from perfect. Stop putting our lives on pedestals, using it as some source of comparison to fuel your discouragement. Nobody has it all together, all the time."

Jasper turned on her, a hard cold stare on his features, and questioned, "What could possibly be wrong in your life?"

"What would you like to discuss first, the fact that Edward's always at the hospital or the fact that when he's home, he's always paying attention to the news, or his phone, or looking at the latest medical journal. I've considered taping the thing to my forehead in hopes that maybe I could get his attention. I can't remember the last time he even attempted to plan a date night, let alone took me on one. Half the time it seems he isn't listening when I do try and talk to him, because he seems completely clueless about things going on in the girls' lives even though I _know_ I shared it with him," Bella continued to rant, her hands gesturing as she vented out her frustrations, "This is life, Jasper. The honeymoon's over. We're all screwed up, someway, somehow. You've chosen to stay with Alice, despite her cheating ways, and most days I just deal with Edward's flaws. I know I've got a few myself. Sometimes we just learn to live with it, over fighting it out. And most days, life's lovely. There are plenty of other people who've got it worse, right?"

"You haven't found your way into another man's bed yet, and I don't think Edward's having janitor closet rendezvous with the floor nurses. So, you've got that going for you."

Bella sighed, looking down at the ground, when she confessed, "But, I lied to Edward about picking you up that night, and now you're bringing me smoothies first thing in the morning. I'm beginning to think we're not so innocent ourselves."

She lifted her head to find Jasper examining her intently, as if he were trying to decide if there were any truth to her words. Bella took a quick glance at her watch and moved towards the driver's side of her vehicle.

"I've got to get home and get the girls ready for school. Look, take Emmett up on his offer. Who knows, maybe he won't even mention anything or maybe he will. Maybe he's the one you should have been talking to all along."

Bella slid into her van and made her way out of the parking lot, leaving Jasper still staring at the multi-colored landscape, still thinking about what she'd said.

**J: **Does this mean you're no longer going to be my therapist?

**B: **I'm sure you'll manage with Emmett. He's been around a lot longer than I have.

**J:** Maybe, I want you around.

**B:** Jasper…

**J:** I don't want you to do anything you don't want to, but I look forward to talking to you. That smile of yours never fails to make my world a little brighter.

Bella stared at the phone in her hand, reading those last words a time or two. She

had been busily working at her desk for a few hours when his text had chimed, breaking her concentration. It was nice, having someone who enjoyed her conversation. Jasper charmed her with his smile and his gesture of kindness, showing up at the park that morning.

She had been truthful when she had shared with him the frustration she had being married to Edward. Having started their relationship shortly before graduating undergrad school, Bella found Edward's intelligence attractive. She had been finishing her art studio/ art history degree, and was quickly swept up in dating that turned into living together, that produced a marriage proposal when he graduated med school. He thought she was talented, she liked that he was a family man and was initially impressed by his drive and determination at being the best in his field. She just hadn't counted on the differences in their personalities to carry so much weight.

Bella loved the movies, wandering through art studios and museums, and evenings curled up with a good book. Edward found reading to be beneficial only if it involved the medical field; he tolerated movies, and didn't understand art. To him, what you see is what you get, and he scoffed at the idea that the artist ever implied anything more than what was brushed across the canvas. They used to argue over this very thing, until Bella gave up trying to change his analytical mind, accepting defeat. Now, she discussed books with friends, and rarely badgered Edward into taking her to the movies. She didn't dwell on the fact that they were so different, but if she took the time to think about it, she wondered if she would have married someone so different from herself. Not that it mattered, she wouldn't give up Renee and Marie, even if someone had offered her a time machine to go back and change the past. Life was good, and good was comfortable and easy.

But, then Jasper came along and threw her for a loop. At first, she had only wanted to help, bring a cheer into his cloudy life. When she had first started dating Edward, she learned that Jasper was easy going, quick to smile and make her laugh. Whether it was a holiday get together, going to one of Emmett's games, or taking the girls to the park, he just clicked into the picture without effort. She had just accepted his presence over the years, not questioning if there was any attraction between the two of them. Now, she too, seemed to look forward to their interactions, as if he brought a ray or two of sunshine into a portrait of muted colors, exposing a little thrill of excitement and happiness that Bella hadn't felt in awhile. To be honest, cutting the ties that had started to form between the two of them would be the best idea, but now, she really didn't want to.

**B: **Keep bringing me drinks, and who knows? I may decide to keep you around a little while longer.

**J: **Any special requests? I aim to please.

**B: **Surprise me ; )

Around ten one evening, Bella was sitting on her couch, enjoying a good book and a glass of red wine.

**J: **Fairly certain I'm losing my mind. Claire is still awake, even after reading five stories, singing three songs, and having put her back into her bed twice now. I'm about to cave and let her sleep with me. I can feel my resistance slipping through my fingers.

Bella giggled, having fought more than one battle at bedtime herself.

**B: **Stay strong, dad. You can do this. I promise, there will come a time when she'll go to sleep all on her own, but alas, today is not that day.

**J: **Where do I pick up the calendar that outlines when we will reach said milestone?

**B: **Oh, now, where would be the fun in telling you when? You lose all the excitement of thinking and hoping and praying, today could be the day!

**J: **Excitement is overrated, and so it seems, is sleep.

**B: **I'm going to murder my boss. Please say you'll donate to my defense fund. Knowing how much these guys charge, I'll need all the help I can get.

**J: **Couldn't you settle on a lesser charge, something like assault? I'm really not sure orange is your color, babe.

Bella quickly snapped a picture of her desk, which was covered with papers, her keyboard precariously wedged in the only available free space amid the mess. She included the image with her next text.

**B: **This is a deed I'm working. A deed that is unlike any other I've ever done, seeing as he seems to be making the law up as he goes. I'm to have it finished by the end of the day.

**B: **p.s. All my hair has fallen out from stress. Does orange go well with bald?

**J: **You are an absolutely brilliant woman. Your boss is an idiot. If anyone can get the job done, it's you.

**J: **p.s. Will stop by the wig store on my way home. How do you feel about being a blonde?

Bella smiled at Jasper's sweet words of encouragement and set herself back on the task at hand, having found the short exchange to be just the pick me up she needed.

**J: **How did the rest of your day go?

**B: **Life just doesn't make sense sometimes.

**J: **Bella? What's going on?

**B: **Can't talk right now, sorry

Jasper decided to take a chance that Bella would go for her usual morning jog the next morning when he pulled into the parking spot. He had foregone a smoothie, instead opting for one of those pumpkin spice-thingies she seemed to be so fond of. He found her not on the trail, but sitting on a bench next to the little pond, staring vacantly across the water. Her nose was red and a few tears clung to the edges of her eyelashes. Jasper gently took the space next to her on the seat, offering the steaming cup in his hand. Bella took the drink, but didn't glance his way.

"Hey, what's going on? You had me worried."

"Angela called. You remember her, right? My maid of honor at the wedding?"  
>Jasper replied, "Sure, she married that guy Ben, yeah?"<p>

"Yes, a year after Edward and I married. Anyhow, they've been trying for years to get pregnant, and Ang was so excited it finally happened a few months ago. But, she called me hysterical yesterday afternoon from the doctor's office. She had started to spot, and there wasn't anything to be done, the baby's heart wasn't beating," Bella seemed to be on autopilot as she shared the story with Jasper, still staring straight ahead, reciting the facts, "I met her at the office, took her to the hospital and stayed with her till Ben could get there. I even curled up on the hospital bed with her, and she just sobbed and sobbed, so broken. I didn't know what else to do, I couldn't help her. She and Ben are such good people, God, this just isn't fair!"

The tears had once again started to slide down Bella's cheeks, and Jasper went on instinct, wrapping an arm around her and pulling the fragile female in to his side. He didn't have any wise words to impart, so he remained silent, letting her weep over her friend's loss. The sun continued its ascent into the sky as the two remain attached, a singular silhouette in the early morning hours.

"God, I'm sorry, J. You were kind enough to bring me a drink after I shut down on you last night, and now I'm just an emotional mess. Certainly wasn't what you expected when you got here, I'm sure."  
>"I don't know, I think no make-up, pale and tear-streaked is very you. I'm not sure I'd say you look, 'hot,' but…" He offered a small smile.<p>

Bella play punched him in the arm, giving the smallest of smiles in return, "My turn to say thank you?"

"Happy to be here, Bells, honest."

She leaned over and gave him a tiny peck on the cheek, "Thanks."

**A/N: Many of you have asked, why? Why is Bella getting mixed up in this thing when she's got Edward? Hopefully this chapter gave you some insight. I realize they don't seem to be suffering from any major issues. If there's anything I can convey in this story, let it be that sometimes things still happen. Things still get screwed up, people do the unthinkable in the midst of ordinary lives. I won't justify Alice, Jasper or Bella for their actions. No one party is guilt-free around here. So, like them a little, hate them completely, your choice. As always, feedback and reviews are fun to read, even when you don't agree with the character's actions! **


	8. Chapter 8:Snow Days & Warm Hearts

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the whole Twilight shebang, and I cringe every time I watch the first Twilight movie. I just think something got lost when they put that book on the big screen. Who's for a do over?**

***** Chapter 7 – Snow Days & Warm Hearts *****

Bella walked into the busy restaurant, scanning the many seated patrons for the unusual shade of copper that her eyes had grown accustomed to over the years. Instead of finding her mother-in-law, her vision was filled with a crooked smile, complete with a dimple in his right cheek, and a set of electric blue eyes. Her returning smile came easily as she made her way over to the table.

"How is it that you keep showing up unexpectedly wherever I go? Are you secretly stalking me, J?"

Jasper feigned hurt as he placed a hand over his heart, "Ouch, Bella. Here I thought you enjoyed my attention, but now you suspect me of being a stalker? Maybe your accusations are a cover for the fact that you are the one secretly obsessed and following me around every corner; after all I was here first. Don't stalkers usually follow from behind?

"I'm meeting Esme here for a lunch date. Don't flatter yourself, pretty boy. It seems she hasn't arrived yet."

"Actually, I'm your lunch date," Jasper informed the woman in front of him as he stood up and pulled out the chair next to him, "so, please, have a seat. Mom's running a little behind and asked if I would keep you company till she got here."

Bella took the offered seat, a slight shiver running through her body as Jasper ran a hand gently across her shoulders before sitting back down. She quickly glanced around the restaurant, thinking someone around her would be able to see the exchange between the pair. But instead of feeling guilt, her emotions ran hot as her eyes zeroed in on a long-legged redhead across the room.

"Um, Bella? Something wrong? You look like you've spotted your worst enemy and are trying to take them out with your stare alone."

"Nothing I can't handle, just a little unwanted attention. Even if I'm not your wife, I am sitting at this table and she doesn't know any better. But, it seems the waitress over there thinks my presence and your wedding ring count for very little. She's practically undressing you with her eyes. I'm certain you could ask for her number right in front of me, and she'd happily hand it over."

Jasper quickly glanced in the direction of Bella's glare before turning his attention back to the brunette and replying, "Not really my type."

"And, if she was your 'type?' Were you planning on asking her out? Looking for a little side action? Lining up the next possible Mrs. Cullen?" Bella's anger had changed directions and was now heating up towards the man at her side.

"My dearest Bella, is that the sound of jealousy in your voice? Retract the kitty-cat claws, tiger. I'm certainly _not _interested in a quick lay or another wife. I'd dare say, should Alice and I divorce, I am retiring from marriage all together."

Bella snorted, "You can't be serious. Jasper, you're only 34. You can't honestly think you won't remarry someday."

"Oh, I'm completely serious. I walked down the aisle with someone I thought I knew, and while the circumstances weren't perfect, I believed in us. Now, I live with the shrill harpy that seemed to be lurking under a well-maintained façade; her mask finally falling off and exposing her 'true self.' So, you'll forgive me if I have decided that I _do not_ want to make that mistake again."

"I think you're taking things to the extreme here, J. You married the wrong woman. It was an honest mistake, but don't discount the remaining female population just because of Alice's duplicative nature," Bella reasoned.

"Bella, I was single for many years before I married Alice, and I was perfectly happy. If I wanted someone's companionship, I could have it without all the drama. I have a career I enjoy, good friends, hockey, baseball. Now, I have Claire as well. I don't see the need to give marriage another try."

"How about loneliness for starters? An occasional girlfriend here or there may have been fine when you were in your twenties, but there's something to be said for coming home to someone who you can share stimulating conversation with, who you can enjoy raising Claire with, who you just enjoy sharing life with."

Jasper quirked an eyebrow at the woman next to him, "Are you volunteering to divorce Edward and run away with me?"

Bella cheeks turned pink and she sputtered out, "Of course not…"  
>"Then I'm not interested. Bella, you are an intelligent, well-spoken, kind and<p>

caring woman, but you don't have any ground to stand on in this argument. If I remember correctly, you dated Jacob from high school right on to college. And it wasn't too long after the two of you had broken up that you met Edward. You've never really lived alone, and I'm not criticizing that, I'm just saying you don't know what you speak of."

Bella's voice raised slightly, "Jasper, whether I've spent months of my life with a slew of one-night stands or only have experience with long-term relationships, that doesn't make me wrong. You're a great dad, a wonderful son and brother. You are sweet and thoughtful. I realize things haven't gone well with Alice, but don't resign yourself to living alone just because of her. You deserve some happiness in your life, and someone to share that with."

Jasper sighed, "I think Alice would disagree with you on that last part, but nevertheless, I know it's possible to be happy without a wife. You're not changing my mind, at least not today as Mom is making her way towards our table."

Bella caught sight of Esme and smiled, speaking lowly to Jasper, "Fine. I'll drop it…..for now."

Jasper stood and pulled out a chair for his mother, and she took the proffered seat after giving Bella a quick hug.

"Sorry I'm late, dear. My conference call ran a little longer than expected, and Jasper offered to be your companion until I could get here. I didn't think you'd mind him joining us for lunch," Esme explained.

_Offered to be my companion? I thought he said his mother asked him. Looking for any chance to spend time together?_ Bella mused as she looked over to Jasper only to find him busy with his phone.

"Not at all, Esme. Jasper may not be one of the girls, but he was able to keep me entertained while I was waiting for you."

As she finished her statement, Bella's phone alerted her that she had a text. She glanced at the screen, making sure it wasn't something from the office or the school requiring her attention.

**J: **You know, I think I quite enjoy disagreeing with you. You're rather sexy when you get worked up; I can only imagine how much fun it would be 'making up' after a fight.

Bella dropped her phone and had to move quickly to prevent Esme from picking it up, Jasper chuckling to himself as she placed it back in her purse.

"Bella, dear, are you okay? Is there something wrong?"

Bella shot Jasper what she hoped was an intimidating glare as she answered, "No, I'm fine. It wasn't anything important."

Jasper met her eyes, and Bella couldn't help the spike in her pulse from the wicked gleam she saw there.

The calendar had barely registered that it was December when Bella awoke to her bedroom being filled with brightness that was courtesy of a world covered in snow outside her window. She could already hear giggles and excited voices coming down the hallway, followed by the opening of her bedroom door.

"Snow, mommy! It's everywhere! I went to sleep last night and now everything is white. It's just like 'Frozen!' I want to put on my hat and gloves and go make a snowman! Do you think we have carrots? He has to have a carrot nose, mommy. Olaf has a carrot nose, and I love Olaf! He's so funny!" Renee chattered on, her words gaining speed with her excitement.

Out of her two little girls, Renee was her father's daughter, being an early riser. Her internal clock seemed to be in sync with the sun. If it was up, so was she.

Bella noticed Edward's side of the bed was empty, but his spot was quickly being filled by a copper-haired angel who was still half-asleep. If Renee was an early bird, Marie was a night owl. For the six-year-old, waking up was a gradual process, one that couldn't be rushed if you wanted to avoid spending the day with a cranky child on your hands. She curled up in the bed next to Bella, pulling the comforter all the way up to her chin and closing her eyes again.

"Ren, baby, slow down and let mommy wake up before asking me 100 questions. Where's daddy?" Bella inquired of the little girl who was currently singing 'Do You Want to Build a Snowman?' while dancing around the room.

"Daddy's eating breakfast. He's getting ready to leave," was the child's answer.

Bella made her way out of bed, leaving Marie to get the sleep she needed. One look out the window showed that school would not be happening that day, and Bella had enough time reserved to call in to the office and spend the day with her girls.

She padded downstairs and entered the kitchen, stopping to pour herself a cup of coffee.

Edward was reading whatever news article had caught his eye on his phone, taking a bite of toast every few sentences. He was already dressed in a button down and khakis.

"Renee said you were leaving. Anything you need before you go?"

Edward finished what he was reading before turning green eyes Bella's way, "The hospital is under-staffed with this snow, people calling in. I'm sure we'll see an increase in activity in the ER, so I thought I'd head in early. Sorry if I woke you."

"It was Princess Anna's early morning sing-along that's responsible for waking me up. She can hardly contain her excitement over building her very own Olaf in our backyard. Let's hope we have carrots in the fridge or she may die of disappointment," Bella laughed at her daughter's dramatic flair, "I think I'll call in myself and spend the day with the girls."

"Well as fun as that sounds, I need to get going. Enjoy you day with your mom girls!" Edward yelled up the stairs, "Be good!"

"Bye, daddy!" Renee called out as she entered the kitchen, complete in Princess Anna costume, stuffed Olaf tucked under her arm.

Edward gave Renee a quick hug, kissed Bella on the forehead and started towards the garage.

"Text me when you get to the hospital. Drive carefully." Bella called over shoulder as she headed towards the pantry to gather the needed ingredients for pancakes.

**B: **Do you want to build a snowman?

**J: **Or ride our bikes around the halls?

**B: **Oh my, that child has you wrapped. You know the lyrics to the Frozen songs! That's adorable. : )

**J: **When it comes to her, I'd do just about anything. Are your girls happy about the winter wonderland?

**B: **Happy is an understatement. They've been bouncing up and down all morning. I called in to spend the day with them. How's Claire?

**J: **Thrilled with all the white stuff. Alice and I stayed home as well.

**B: **Wanna come over and build a snowman for real?

**J: **I'll gather up the girls and head your way. See you in a few.

_I can do this. I can do this. For Claire's sake, I can be nice to Alice. I think I can. I think I can._

The internal battle inside Bella waged on. On the one hand, in a fantasy world, she and Jasper wouldn't be tied to other people and would be free to explore this new found interest they had in one another. Bella's mind slipped away to this alternate universe more and more often these days. They had been clicking so perfectly together lately, and with Jasper's flirtatious texts, her thoughts about how well they would fit together twisted into a physical yearning. She was certainly attracted to his mind _and h_is body.

But, reality's a bitch, and she kept forcing herself into the picture. For Claire's sake, Jasper wasn't planning on divorcing Alice and honestly Bella wasn't welcoming the idea of shaking up her own life. To try and be together openly would be like setting off an atomic bomb in the family. The fallout would be disastrous. So, she had resigned herself to just taking things day by day. If Jasper decided he could fix things with Alice, she would be supportive.

_I'd back him up, wouldn't I? Yes, that would be for the best. I can be happy for them. Of course I can. _

But then, she'd get lost in thoughts of blue eyes and lips that were becoming entirely too kissable, and fantasy Bella would make an appearance sporting a "Team Jasper" t-shirt.

And so, the war continues.

The doorbell pulled Bella from her daydreaming, and she made her way to the front of the house.

"Girls, Claire's here!"

Squealing and the sound of two sets of socked feet stampeding towards their favorite, and only, female cousin filled Bella's ears. By the time she made it to the entry, Claire was rushing past her, following Renee and Marie back into the kitchen where Bella had lunch ready and on the table.

"Hey, you. Leave Alice in the truck?" She asked the lone figure in her entryway.

Jasper was stomping snow off his boots and removing his Carhart jacket, "No, she wasn't interested in coming along. Said something about finally enjoying some alone time and a day off work. I didn't think you'd mind if it was just me and Claire."

"Of course not. I have lunch ready, if you're hungry. Tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches aren't exactly gourmet, but…"

"Lunch already made, my favorite women around the table, a day out of the office. Sounds like heaven to me," was Jasper's gentle reply.

Lunch with three happy girls was enjoyable. There was a small brunette, a tiny redhead, and a teensy blonde. Bella knew at some point there would be a disagreement over a toy, and maybe a tear or two, but she agreed with Jasper, it was a little slice of heaven indeed.

Thankfully, there were carrots in the fridge, and so while Bella cleaned away the lunch dishes, Jasper braved the backyard to try his hand at engineering three made-to-order snowmen. Renee wanted one with a fat bottom, Marie wanted hers to be the tallest, and Claire wanted one that looked "just like" Olaf. He had his work cut out for him, trying to keep all three females happy, but they were no match for his charming ways either and adored anything he created. There was a snowball fight and a yard full of snow angels (including ones that were Bella and Jasper sized). In no time, all three girls were chilled to the bone and ready to go back indoors.

Bella sent them off to put on warm pajamas and then set the trio up in the den, in front of their favorite Disney film. Jasper busied himself with the fireplace and Bella fixed hot chocolate and cookies for all. Once everyone was situated, Bella took the opposite end of the couch from Jasper, watching the cartoon play out on screen for what had to be the two-hundredth time.

After an hour or so, the cookies were gone, the chocolate had grown cold, the fire had warmed up the room, and three tiny sets of eyes were closed in sleep. Bella turned her gaze to the man seated just a few feet away. He looked to be losing his own fight with sleep, lids half closed. His plaid flannel was rolled up at the sleeves revealing strong, muscular forearms, faded jeans fitted over long lean legs, his 6'3" frame stretched out.

Bella tossed the blanket from the back of the couch his direction, "Hey, go ahead and lay down. I'll move over to the other chair."

But instead of following her directions, he reached over, taking both her feet and pulling them into his lap. He began to massage the arches, the two of them staring at each other, desire coiling like a spring as they faced off.

"Bella?"

"Hmm?"

"Why is it that we were never interested in each other before?"

Bella smiled as she remembered meeting Jasper all those many years ago, "Back when I started dating Edward? You were the pretty boy with a string of girls behind him, always busy with baseball or hockey. It seemed like every time I came over, there was someone new. Sure, you made me laugh, but I wasn't interested in your playboy ways, always the life of the party. Back then, I thought I wanted steady and dependable. So, you didn't exactly turn my head. Not like you made a move in my direction either."

"True," Jasper pondered, "I forgot just how many girls there were. Those were the days."

Bella pulled her foot out of his grasp and kicked at his hands.

"Enough, woman! Cease and desist! I was only joking," Jasper grabbed her ankles, holding her still easily, "Maybe the reason I wasn't interested is because you're so quick to fly off the handle."

Bella let him return to his earlier attentions to her body, his hands having moved up to her calves, kneading through the soft material of her yoga leggings.

"Do you think we would have worked out, he who has vowed to never marry again?"

There was a tenderness in his expression, almost as if there was an emotion there that Bella could label as something more than attraction, "I'd like to think so. This? This day, being with you, with the girls, this was perfect. I'd surrender myself to this life, if I had the chance."

"It feels like comfort. Like I can be with you and just breathe. Even with all their energy, sharing today with you was still peaceful."

"Exactly."

Bella changed positions until she could slide into his side, letting his arm drape over her shoulder, tucking her head under his chin. His hand went to play with the ends of her hair while they both watched the flames dance in the fireplace. When the first girl started to stir, they quickly parted, Bella getting up to clear away the cocoa mugs, Jasper gathering up Claire's things so they could get back home for dinner and bedtime. He quickly pulled Bella into one last hug before heading back out into the snow.

Bella wandered back into the kitchen, browsing the fridge, looking for something to cook and feeling as though her whole had been broken in half and part of her had left with Jasper.

**A/N: I realize these chapters grow in length the further I get in this story. I just need more words to try and convey B & J's interactions and feelings. If I went back to edit and rewrite chapter one right now, I'd probably fill it up with a few more words as well. Like I've said before, I'm new to this gig, and I feel my writing style is already changing in the short time I've been working on this piece. **

**And in case you were wondering, I do have a small child in my home who loves the Frozen movie. We have the DVD, the blanket, the sippy cup, etc., etc. So yes, I do know more words to the songs than I care to. : )**

**Anyhow, hoped you enjoyed watching our pair get a little closer to the "l" word. Love, lust, longing – you pick! I enjoy reviews, so please, leave a word or two of your own!**


	9. Chapter 9:Lesson 4 - Something's Off

**Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. Yep.**

***** Chapter 8 – Lesson 4: Something's Off At Home *****

_Dear Alice,_

_ So, I have to ask the question, how did you not see this coming? Esme noticed the change in Jasper after he and I started growing closer. Edward realized something wasn't quite right between us anymore. Were you so clueless that you didn't see the signs, Alice, or did you just choose to ignore them?_

_ I just can't imagine why you were so slow to react to something changing in him. Here you were having an extramarital affair with not one, but two men, and yet Jasper didn't fight you or tear you apart. At first it must have seemed that he just checked out on your marriage, having little to no feelings at all. But, what about when he started to seem content, happy even, with his life? Didn't you think to go looking for the reason? It seemed so easy to carry on without any thought to you suspecting. You just didn't seem to care. _

_ I tend to think that you chose to ignore the feeling that something was off at home. That you were happy having your fling with Blake, so if Jasper didn't question you, you wouldn't be looking too closely at him either. Not the smartest move, Alice. Maybe you could have put a stop to this whole thing before it got out of hand, maybe not. We'll never know. But one thing's for sure, when you didn't pay attention to the sound of the alarm, you gave us the space we needed to get warm and cozy._

_ You might not want hit the snooze button next time._

_ Your Teacher, His Mistress,_

_ Bella_

Bella sighed, looking her husband in the eyes as she remarked, "Edward, it's Renee's Christmas recital, how could you have forgotten?"  
>"Bella, I honestly don't remember you mentioning the date to me. I wouldn't have agreed to speak at the conference if I had known, but now it's too late for me to back out."<p>

Bella sat down on their bed, watching her husband's retreating form as he walked into the closet to hang up the jacket to the suit he had been wearing. A throw pillow grasped in her hands, her fingers tightened into the material, conveying the growing frustration she was feeling towards her husband. Her words spilled out, heavily laced with sarcasm, "You don't remember me mentioning the date, or you don't remember me mentioning the fact that the recital's theme is 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas,' or you don't remember me mentioning Renee is playing the role of Little Cindy Lou Who in a solo piece, or you just don't remember talking to me in general about our daughters' lives?"

Edward quickly appeared again, his shirt half-way unbuttoned, stopping his actions to address her accusations, "Wait, where did that come from? I realize that I made a mistake not taking note of this recital, and I will apologize to Renee personally for missing it, but how did we jump from a one-time event to my missing out on the girls' lives?"

"It just slipped out, Edward, but it just seems like there are times when I try and talk to you and I might as well be holding a conversation with the wall. I realize your work is important, and I try to support you, but could you try and be there for us, too? A conference, Edward, really? Renee is going to be performing, alone, on stage, the star in the spotlight, and you're going to miss it for a conference. Dammit, Edward, this is important to her and I _know _I mentioned it to you! How can you keep up with a ward full of patients 24/7 and not keep track of your own children? Why does it feel like we're falling into second place behind your career?" Bella's volume had risen with each statement that had left her mouth, her words heated, her eyes glaring at the man in front of her.

"If this is how you felt, why is this just now coming out?" Edward questioned, seemingly taken aback by his wife's harsh demeanor.

"Would it have made a difference if I had mentioned it before? Why do I have to ask for your attention? Why is it not given freely?"

"Bella, I didn't even realize there was a problem."

"And therein lies the problem, you didn't even notice. I don't want to have to point it out to you. I just wish you'd _see_ without me telling you."

Edward sat down on his side of the bed, his voice apologetic, "Hey, I _am_ sorry. You're right, I do get wrapped up in things at the hospital, and I probably don't pay as much attention to you and the girls as I should."

Bella, tired of arguing, gave a clipped, "It's fine, Edward. There's nothing you can do about it now. I'll do what I can to make up for your absence."

She dropped her eyes down to the pillow she had been clutching in her hands, suddenly taking an interest in the material, trying to convey with her body language that she was done with the conversation.

Her husband examined her face, eyes openly questioning when he asked, "Are you sure there isn't something else going on?"

Bella didn't meet his gaze when she answered, "No, I'm just tired and you hitting me with the news of this conference happened at an off moment. But, Edward, try and listen to me when I tell you things. Please?"

Bella finally spared Edward a glance again.

Edward gave an immediate, "Of course," and after staring at his wife's face for just a few moments, still not satisfied that she wasn't hiding something more, he went back to getting ready for bed.

Her husband's instincts correct, Bella was keeping something inside. She was upset with Edward for foolishly planning something during their daughter's recital. It would be a night to remember for the little girl, and having an absent daddy wasn't part of the picture Bella wanted for Renee. Edward had a habit of not taking note when she mentioned upcoming events, and it irritated Bella to no end when she would expect him to be ready for something he had no recollection of her ever mentioning. She didn't want to be the nag, harping on him again and again about these things, nor did she feel like being his mother, making sure he was where he needed to be at the right time.

But it wasn't only Edward's annoying habits that had Bella on edge, it was Jasper's continued presence in her life. While it was stupid to think that life with the other brother would be 100% perfect all the time, her new found relationship with the man had planted a seed of dissatisfaction with her current life. As time went on and their interactions became closer and more personal, that seed began to sow roots deep within.

Little things that Edward would do or say became magnified ten-fold so that each seemed a dark mark etched into his record. This wasn't the first time her temper had flared significantly over something that she would have just let slide in the past. She knew it wasn't fair to Edward. He was being held in a comparison match with his sibling, unbeknownst to him. He wasn't able to mount a defense in a battle he was unaware of, nor was he armed for the attacks he didn't see coming. Instead, he was left confused by Bella's sudden change in demeanor, feeling like there was something off in his home, and wondering what had changed. If he tried to discuss it with his wife, he got the same response that he had received that evening, "It's fine."

Bella just didn't feel like working through things. She was enjoying the high and the thrill of Jasper's attention, so she ignored her husband's inquiries, brushing his questions off. Guilt was quickly snuffed out by the smile she got seeing another text, or picking up the phone to hear his voice. Jasper made her feel good. Life hadn't been exactly boring or mundane, but the excitement that came with this new romance was intoxicating. It had been so many years since the days of dating and finding herself in a new relationship, that Bella had forgotten just how enjoyable it could be.

If anyone had reasoned that she had more in common with Alice than she'd like, she would have shot them down, explaining that she didn't go looking for Jasper, she was merely caring for a man who had been tossed aside by his wife. Jasper wasn't the cheater in that marriage. Bella hadn't meant to develop feelings for him, but she wasn't about to turn them away either. Anyhow, for the most part, things weren't physical between the two and that seemed to make it okay. It wasn't as if they'd shared a bed, no, theirs was a relationship built on conversations and moments that had gone from friendly to flirty as the weeks went on. But still, it was _just_ flirting, right? Denial and justification could have easily been Bella's middle name.

Bella couldn't have been more proud of Renee's performance in her winter recital. Bathed in soft blue light, with hair twisted into curled braids and rosy circles painted onto her cheeks, the petite girl twirled and spun across the stage to "Where Are You Christmas?" as fake snow fell from the rafters. It didn't matter if it was their first birthday, or the first day of kindergarten, moments like these always left Bella a little teary eyed. She loved having a front row seat to watching her daughters grow up, as they became individual people, encouraging their interests, the amusing conversations they shared.

Esme and Carlisle sat next to her, Marie seated on her grandfather's lap watching her sister with awe evident on her face. They were wonderfully attentive grandparents, trying to be there for every game, school event and performance their grandchildren had. With six little ones spread out between three brothers, they couldn't make them all, but they were there for a great deal of them. Esme snapped pictures of the performance, taking a second to glance at Bella, sharing the same sentimental moment with her daughter-in-law.

Bella scooped up her star performer back stage after the show, smothering the girl in her hug.

"You were amazing, pretty girl! You did such a great job out there!" Bella complimented her daughter while Carlisle handed the tiny ballerina a bouquet of pink roses.

"Can you show me how to dance good like you, sissy?" Marie questioned, as Renee beamed from ear to ear over her family's words of praise.

The small group made their way out into the chilly night air and on to the local coffee shop for cups of hot chocolate to end the evening's excitement.

The girls were giggling and nibbling snowflake shaped sugar cookies while Carlisle waited on their drinks. Bella and Esme were discussing a last minute Christmas shopping trip that weekend.

"Do you think we should see if Rosalie and Alice want to join us?" Bella asked.

"Rosalie and Emmett are going away for the weekend without the boys. Rosalie's parents are watching the kids. I believe it's Emmett's early Christmas gift to Rose, a way to make up for all the time she spends at home alone while he's coaching. You know with it being bowl season, and with Alex being so young, I don't think Rose is going to be able to accompany him this year," Esme explained, "As for Alice, I'll ask though her availability is hit or miss these days."

Bella chose not comment on those final words. She knew that Jasper had caved and explained things to Emmett, who was understandably upset about the situation. He couldn't keep things from Rose, and had shared what he had learned with his wife. They both seconded Bella's previous words that the family would stand behind Jasper, should he choose to stay with Alice or leave. However, the time Jasper and Bella spent together stayed just between the two of them.

"Bella?"

"Hmm? Sorry, Esme, I checked out there for a second. Were you asking something?"

"I was just commenting that I was worried that something was going on with Jasper and Alice."  
>Bella's surprise was genuine when she replied, "Oh, really?"<p>

"Well I _was_ worried. Jasper seemed to be going through the motions around the office back in the fall. It had gotten to the point that I was getting ready to confront him about his personal life. I realize he's my son and I try not to pry, seeing as we spend so much time together at work and as family. I figure he has Peter and his brothers, but Alice has been distant and Jasper wasn't himself. I was afraid maybe all the travel he does for the company was putting a strain on his marriage. But then, he started to get back to his old self. He's been in a really good mood lately, better than he has been in quite a while. His sense of humor has returned. I'm just happy to see the light back in his eyes. I guess I might have just been imagining things." Esme confided to the girl sitting next to her.

This was an unexpected turn in the evening's conversation. Bella wondered if Jasper realized just how in tune his mother was to him. He believed that he did a wonderful job of pretending everything was okay when he was around the family, but Esme's confessions showed that she knew her children better than they thought.

"Well I'm glad to hear he seems to be doing better. The boys know you love them, Esme, and I don't think they've ever felt that you crossed the line when it comes to their personal lives. You always seem to maintain the perfect balance of loving, but not overprotective or pushy. It's a trait I admire. I can only hope to have such a strong relationship with my daughters when they grow up," Bella complimented.

The older woman wrapped an arm around her daughter-in-law and drew her in for a hug, "I realize you didn't grow up with the most attentive mother, dear, but don't you worry. You're doing a wonderful job with Renee and Marie. I have no doubt that the love you share will only grow as they do, and one day, you'll have the joy of watching them blossom into young women, then wives, and mothers as well."

The two women went back to planning their weekend activities, Bella hoping that Esme's words would stay true in the years to come.

Christmas morning dawned bright and clear that year. There was still enough snow on the ground to warrant the term "White Christmas," but it wasn't falling at six that morning when the girls woke up. Even Marie became an early morning riser when Santa and presents were involved.

Bella was curled up in a chenille throw on the couch watching the girls play with their newly opened American Girl dolls when Edward came up behind her, leaning over to hand her a steaming cup of coffee.

"Merry Christmas"  
>"Mmm, thank you, Merry Christmas to you."<p>

They had stayed up late the night before, waiting for the girls' excitement to lend way to sleep so they could play "Santa." Edward had the seniority that allowed him to take a few days off from the hospital for the holiday, remaining on call as needed for emergencies only. He had been loving and attentive to his wife the previous day as they visited Bella's father, Charlie and her step-mother.

Bella's family wasn't as closely knit as the Cullens, but that Christmas Eve was a day full of laughter and joy. Charlie doted on his granddaughters in a way that Bella had never experienced as a girl. Being a single father, he had done what he could to provide for her needs, but working as a police officer meant shifts that caused him to be MIA from the events in her life. Now that he had retired, he had the hours to spend and a more relaxed disposition than Bella had known growing up.

Coming home, Bella had finally felt free from holiday stress, having enjoyed the day's visit. So it was no surprise that after the gifts were laid under the tree, she and Edward fell into bed together, wrapped up in each other's arms. Years of experience allowed them to learn each other's bodies intimately, each knowing how to make the other rise and fall with pleasure. Both had drifted off to sleep, cozy and content in their bed.

That Christmas morning, Bella had opened a velvet jewelry box to find a pair of diamond stud earrings. While it wasn't exactly her style, she knew her husband had chosen the gift with the intent to give her something special. In turn, Bella had presented him with a set of antique first edition medical textbooks that she had found at an estate sale with Angela over the summer.

"These are fantastic, Bella. It is amazing how far things have advanced through the years," Edward exclaimed while perusing the pages of his present, "I think I'll take them into work and show the guys before putting them in my office here at the house."

Bella smiled softly, snuggling deeper into the blanket surrounding her, drinking in the morning's peace.

Chaos reigned supreme at the Cullen homestead that evening as paper flew in every direction and shouts of glee rang through the air. Even baby Alex, just nine-months old, giggled at his giant bear of a dad who was making his new stuffed puppy dance around the floor in front of him.

Carlisle and Esme had a tendency to go overboard with the gifting during Christmas, but the boys had long since given up the effort to try and make their parents scale things back. Yes, there were many items under the tree for each family member, but there was also an overflow of love that permeated the air.

It wasn't just about the "stuff," it was the family dinner shared around the large dining table, serving lunch together at the local homeless shelter earlier in the day, decorating Christmas cookies before devouring them, and the tradition of gathering around the piano in the living room to sing carols.

Edward, having taken lessons throughout his school years, was of course expected to play, but everyone had their turn at singing. Bella finally found her way over to her husband's side to join him in, "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas."

Her smooth alto voice flowed over the words as she took her time looking at all the faces around the room before settling on two pairs of blue eyes nestled in the corner chair. Claire was curled in her father's arms, a wave of blonde curls tucked under his chin.

_Through the years, we all will be together_

_If the fates allow_

_Hang a shining star upon the highest bow_

_And have yourself a merry little Christmas now_

She finished the last round of the chorus still gazing at his smiling face, having found herself entranced by his gaze.

Later that evening while fixing herself a glass of wine, Jasper approached, holding out his empty glass for a refill.

"It seems that an anonymous elf delivered a pair of Predator tickets for next month's game to my office this week," he mused.

Bella smiled easily at him, "I already checked with Char and Peter's free that evening."

"How'd you manage to get such great seats?"

"Oh, you know," she rolled her eyes, "I have my talents."  
>Jasper wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, "That I don't doubt for a second."<p>

Bella blushed before correcting him, "The team manager is a client of ours. I just called in a favor. I'm glad you like the gift."

"I love it. I didn't realize you even paid attention enough to know my favorite team, but then, how could I have expected less from one so _talented_."

Bella laughed and gave him a quick wink before walking away, needing some space from the heat that charged between them.

Later that evening, back at home, Bella removed her coat and placed it in the hall closet while Edward carried Marie off to bed. The girls were exhausted, having woken up so early that morning and the crank monster had reared its ugly head right about the time they had started packing up to leave Carlisle and Esme's house.

She picked up her bag from the hall table, noticing that there was a wrapped package inside. She lifted the gift, not seeing a tag anywhere on the paper and began to unwrap what felt like a book in her hands.

Inside was a journal bound in emerald leather, an intricate Celtic design scrolling across the cover. In the center circle of the design were Bella's initials, stitched in golden thread, the paper between the covers made of heavy cream-colored stock. On the first page she discovered a small note inked across the page:

_My dearest Bella,_

_A small token to say thank you for the many words of kindness you've gifted me with, and for the light that you have brought back into my life. I have cherished each and every moment we have shared. May you fill these pages with thoughts and dreams of things yet to come. Merry Christmas._

_ -J_

**A/N: Hmm, what think we of our girl Bella now? She's quite confused. Even I don't know what to make of her double life myself at times. Can she keep it up? Will she choose one man or try to keep them both? Will anyone finally discover their secret? Guess we'll just have to wait around see. Reviews are lovely, so leave a word or two!**


	10. Chapter 10: New Year, New Words

**Disclaimer: Twilight, its locale, the long list of characters and their various escapades do not belong to me, but to Stephenie Meyer. In case you didn't know. **

***** Chapter 9 – New Year, New Words *****

B: If you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?

J: What's your current location? ; )

B: Ha ha. Very smooth. Now, answer the question.

J: Anywhere in the world?

B: Yep

J: I think it would be nice to travel to Italy. I've seen a little of Europe, but have never made it there. You?

B: No thought needed there, Ireland. All those green hills, the rocky cliffs overlooking the sea, the ancient crumbling churches.

J: So, what's stopping you?

B: Edward hates the cold, damp climate. He has no desire to travel to the United Kingdom. If we ever talk of taking time away from home, he steers us towards some sunny island.

J: I'll travel to yours if you travel to mine.

B: Travel the world with you? Anytime. : )

J: How's next week looking? You gotta give a guy time to get a hold of his travel agent.

B: If only…

J: I know, me too.

Bella looked wistfully at her phone, before placing it back down on her desk. Some days she questioned if Jasper was even real. Conversations like these, where he had just the right words to make her smile, where he knew just what to say. He made it seem like he would give Bella the world, if only he had the chance. He was charming, endearing, almost perfect.

She entertained thoughts of what it would be like to leave Edward, and start a life with Jasper. Would it last? There were sure to be difficulties if the two houses united. Alice could fade into the background, but Edward? Edward was part of Jasper's family. How did she expect the girls to get through Christmas sharing a table with their father and step-father? Awkward didn't even begin to cover it. Could they weather the inevitable storm that would come with the choice to be together? If it caused trouble for Jasper with his family, would he stand by Bella's side or would he choose blood over their feelings for each other?

Bella contemplated discussing things with Jasper, but part of her didn't want him to take a reality check. What if he examined what they were doing and decided it was best to end it? Could she go back to the way things were before?

They hinted around at their feelings for each other, but neither made declarations or came right out and said anything. They just existed, continuing to intertwine with one another, wrapping over and through the threads of their individual tapestries until the colors bled together. It was thrilling to have the electric energy of their unspoken feelings running like a live wire between the two, but also painful to have this unmet yearning that they chose to ignore time and again.

Jasper had left for a short business trip the day after Christmas. He would be back in time for the family's New Year's Eve celebration, but in the meantime, they spent their free moments exchanging messages with each other.

The Christmas gift had struck a chord in Bella's heart. In one of their random conversations, he had asked what she wanted to be when she grew up. He was surprised to learn that she had rolled around the idea of becoming a writer when she was younger, but had given it up in exchange for a steady, dependable career in the legal field. He hadn't laughed at the idea, but merely stated that it was never too late to begin a new dream. The personalized journal had been a thoughtful way to say that he believed she could do what she imagined, if she only gave it a try.

A friendly voice interrupted Bella's musings, "Someone looks like she's drifted off to her happy place."

Bella glanced up to find her best friend leaning against the frame of the door to her office, "Sorry, Angela, I was just day dreaming I suppose."  
>"That much was obvious. Care to share the details? Something has you looking like a high school girl in love. Should I look to see if you were doodling 'B&amp;E' in little hearts on your legal pad? Edward send you an unexpected bouquet of flowers?" the girl teased.<p>

"What? Edward? No, no, I was just thinking. It's nothing. Let me close this document and we can head out for lunch." Bella busied herself about her desk, taking a quick glance at her phone before putting it in her purse.

Angela cocked her head to the side, examining her friend's flustered face. Bella had been such a precious friend the past few months as she recovered from her miscarriage. Always willing to drop everything and come running to her side, their's was a bond as close as sisters. But maybe in the days and weeks of recovering from the loss, while Angela had been rather out of it, she'd missed something going on with the girl. Angela debated pressing Bella about the issue, but decided to let it slide, thinking maybe the real story would come up over chips and salsa at lunch, or maybe it was indeed nothing at all.

Three slightly drunk, yet attractive, men were up on the stage belting out the last lines of Bryan Adam's "Have You Ever Really Loved A Woman?" in a small pub on New Year's Eve.

Out in the crowd, their mother giggled uncontrollably next to two of her daughter-in-laws, watching her sons carry on with wild somewhat off-key abandon, while her husband nursed his beer and shook his head good-naturedly at the public antics of his children.

Coming to a close, holding out the last note much longer than need be, Emmett made sure to grab the mic one last time to declare, "I love you Rosalie! Woo!" before following his brothers off the stage. He rushed out into the audience to grab the blonde by her chin before leaning in to give her a noisy kiss. Completely charmed by her husband's foolish gesture, she grabbed him by his shirt and fully engaged in a lip-lock kiss that left a goofy grin on the man's face when they separated.

Bella just smiled at the two while Edward slid into the seat next to her and Jasper made his way into the chair across the table. Out of the corner of her eye, Bella could see that Alice was still leaning over the bar and having an animated conversation with the young bartender. She was too busy laughing at whatever funny comment he had made and batting her eyes in his direction to pay attention to the group at the table.

Jasper spared a quick glance in the same direction before emptying his glass, standing and walking purposefully off to where his wife was flirting. Bella didn't miss Rosalie's scathing glance towards the young woman, or the look of disapproval that had crossed Emmett's features.

Having gained the family's attention, the group all looked in Jasper's direction as the bartender quickly busied himself with other customers and Alice turned towards her husband. Dressed more for a night of clubbing, her low-cut silver sequined mini was shimmering with the annoyance that vibrated through the raven-haired female. With a hand on each hip, even in four-inch heels, she still had to look up at him while the two were exchanging words.

Edward broke the silence that had settled in the group when he asked, "What's going on with those two?"

Bella held her tongue, but Rosalie possessed less restraint when she lashed out, "Seems the pixie has grown tired of life at home and has decided flying off to some other guy is the answer. I thought it was just one man, but it looks like she's broadening her horizons."

"Babe," Emmett shook his head at his wife, "we weren't supposed to say anything."

"Did you honestly expect me to keep quiet when she flaunts it for the entire family to see, Em? Seriously, by the way she was carrying on with that bartender, I was expecting her to reach across the counter and shove her tongue down his throat any minute. I can't cover up her actions if she's going to go public. God, Jasper has let this thing go on long enough."

"What thing? What's wrong with Jasper and Alice?" Esme asked with concern in her voice, looking back and forth between her son and his spouse.

"Look, mom, it's not my place to say. You need to ask J."

Esme turned to her other child, "Edward, do you know what's going on? Bella?"

Edward shook his head in the negative, and Bella just shrugged trying to look uninvolved in the matter.

"Darling, I think it best if we just calm down and let Jasper handle things. Obviously, things are not going well this evening, it's not going to help if we start hounding him with questions." Carlisle gathered his wife's hand in his, attempting to lower the excitement at the table.

Sparing another glance at the couple in question, the group saw Jasper continuing to speak to Alice until she suddenly threw her hands in the air and turned around, stalking off in the direction of the women's restroom. Jasper ran a hand down his face, then turned to the offending bartender and ordered another drink. His body heaved with a weighted sigh before he took the glass and turned back towards his family. The group tried to avert their eyes quickly, looking as "normal" as they could.

"So, who's up for a round of darts?" Jasper questioned the table upon his return.

"I got you, man." Emmett stood up, "Ed, you in?"

Edward finished off his glass, squeezed Bella's hand before joining his brothers in heading off in the direction of the pub's dart boards.

A few minutes had passed awkwardly between the remaining family members before Alice showed up and began gathering her purse and jacket.

"Going somewhere, Alice?" Rosalie questioned, one eyebrow raised.

"Yeah, I'm going to head out with Jess for the rest of the evening. We've got some family in from out-of-town and I told her I'd make sure to spend some of the holiday with them."

"Oh, is Jasper leaving with you? He and the boys just started playing darts." Esme inquired of the girl, looking at her daughter-in-law with fresh eyes, hoping to gain some insight as to what was going on.

"No, no, I'm not going to pull him away from you all. I know it's tradition to ring in the New Year together. He knows I'm heading out. I'll just drop a quick goodbye on my way towards the door. You guys go on and have a lovely evening without me."

Alice, considering the matter closed, quickly made her way over to the guys and said a few words, Jasper not even bothering to look her way as he threw another dart towards the board. Edward and Emmett looked at each other and then their brother, waiting for Jasper to say something, anything. When it appeared they weren't going to get any answers to unspoken questions, they too returned to playing the game.

The rest of the evening carried on as planned, though there was an uncomfortable undercurrent that couldn't be dismissed. The girls shared a few more glasses of wine before breaking into Cyndi Lauper's "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun," and Jasper made himself scarce for the New Year's Eve countdown, not wanting to be around the remaining couples when he found himself single for the rest of the evening.

It was shortly after ringing in the New Year that Bella went looking for him, finding him smoking a cigarette on the outdoor patio, staring at the night sky.

"Decided to start the new year by picking up an old habit?"

Jasper blew out a ring of smoke before turning to her with a worn down glance, "Nah, I just needed the stress relief. It doesn't matter how many years have passed since I quit, there are just some moments that I fall back to it. I'll be back on the wagon come tomorrow, well I guess today."

Bella pulled her arms around herself, trying to hold the heat inside her body while shivering in the frigid night air. Jasper, taking notice of her predicament, removed his jacket and placed it around her shoulders. She inhaled the faint smell of cigarette smoke and his cologne while giving him a grateful smile.

"You should go back in. I'll return just as soon as I finish this."

"I needed a break from your mother demanding we do another song," Bella reasoned, "Plus, look at this clear sky. You can see a million stars. I could get lost wandering among all those constellations. Think of all the wishes for the new year we could be making."

Jasper followed her eyes up to the heavens before quietly commenting, "You know, you look lovely tonight."

Having pulled her hair up on the sides and letting it fall straight down her back, Bella had chosen a black wrap around dress and black heeled boots. With a rather "plain" backdrop, she played up her make-up, taking time to create smoky eyes, deep scarlet colored lips, and finishing the look with a long silver chain that had an ornate garnet cabochon pendant.

She blushed under the weight of his compliment before replying, "This? I must have taken a good hour and a half and emptied half my closet trying to decide what to wear, only to return to the first outfit I chose. I left my room in absolute chaos. If you had been there, you'd have rolled your eyes and declared, 'Can we just leave already, woman? I'm starving to death waiting for you to get ready!"

Jasper released a deep laugh before looking at her face and catching her eyes stating, "God, I love you."

Bella stopped breathing for a moment before trying to recover the conversation with an attempt at humor, "Obviously, someone has had more than enough alcohol this evening. No drunk texting or phone calling for you. You should probably hand me your phone, and I think it best that we go back inside and work towards getting you home."

"Bella, I'm sober enough. You had to have figured out by now there's more at play here, between us, surely you've felt it?"

"It doesn't matter what I've felt, Jasper. What am I supposed to do with that? You love me? What does that mean? We're going to put aside everyone else so we can be with each other? Is that what you're ready to do? Are we willing to tear apart our houses to try and piece them back together? What about Claire? Love means so much more than the occasional text or stolen glance or trying to figure out when we can spend a moment alone, it means putting someone first, giving them your time and attention. Is that what we are to each other?" Bella rambled on, "No, take it back. You have feelings for me, and you know I want to give you more, but we can't be in love with each other. It's too confusing. It tugs at my heart, begging for acceptance, and I already have this ache when you're not near or I don't hear from you. We just can't."

Jasper looked down at the ground, using his shoe to snuff out the cigarette butt he just dropped, "I suppose you're right. It's just so easy when I'm with you, the words just came out. Maybe I have had a glass or two more than I should have. Come back inside with me? I promise, I'll try and behave, just don't turn away from me. I need what we share."

Jasper's pleading glance mirrored the blue depths of the midnight sky that shrouded both of them in shadows. Bella drifted along in his gaze, wanting to pull more words of affection from his lips, but knowing she was right having stopped him from saying more. Seeing him, but not being able to allow him to hold her, to try and hold onto some tattered boundary between the two was almost physically painful at times.

Bella reached a hand out towards him, before pulling it back and turning away, she led them both back into the bar, leaving his unexpected emotions out in the night.

**A/N: I always think of Christina Perri's "Distance" when I imagine this scene. Go search for the video on YouTube, and I think you'll agree the lyrics are fitting. *Sigh* Poor B & J, in love but still clinging to denial that this thing they have isn't getting to be bigger than they can manage. And now the whole family knows what's going down with Alice. Will it give Jasper the motivation to leave? Would that cause Bella to make a move too? Leave me some love or criticism! I'm good with either! **


	11. Chapter 11: I Can't Deny

**Disclaimer: And now's the time, children, where I obligingly say, Twilight isn't mine but 's. Shocker, I know. Now that we're clear, on with the messy, emotional stuff we've been waiting for.**

***** Chapter 10 – I Can't Deny *****

The weekend after Jasper's New Year's confessional found Bella sitting on Angela's couch, warm sunlight filtering in the windows contradicting the cold January weather outside. Edward had offered to take the girls ice skating that Saturday morning, and Bella seized the opportunity to catch up with her best friend.

Faces free of make-up, dressed in comfy yoga pants and thread barren t-shirts, the girls sat on opposite ends of the big comfy couch in Angela's den, cups of warm coffee in hand and a plate of cinnamon scones between them. It felt as if the years of sharing an apartment in college weren't a thing of the past, but they were still two young women with lives yet to be lived. The stringed chords and brandy-soaked voices of Twin Forks played on a low level in the background.

Angela was slowly healing from having lost a pregnancy she had been so desperate to embrace. For now, the wounds were too fresh to consider whether she and Ben would consider fertility treatments or start looking for other ways of creating a family. It was one thing to have the frustration of months passing without being pregnant, and another to live through the emotional high and then the agonizing loss of life that had slipped from her body that day. It was a scar that ran deep in her soul and Angela wasn't sure she was willing to risk another cut, to spend her days in futility trying to figure out what went wrong or thinking about what could have been. For now, she tried to find a small measure of joy each morning and leaned deeply into the loving embrace of her husband every night to begin and mend the tears in her heart.

With skilled eyes, she took in Bella's quite form, her dearest friend staring into the depths of her coffee cup as if she could drink in the answers to her deepest questions if she was just willing to take that first sip.

Angela broke the girl's silent musings, "Fess up, my dear."

Bella glanced up at her friend with feigned innocence, "Fess up? Do I look guilty? I thought we had abandoned our days of petty crime and late night shenanigans years ago. Now, we're just responsible adults, paying the mortgage and making it to work on time."

"Yeah, while amusing, your attempt at playing this off is so not working. It's me you're talking to. Sorry, counselor, your client's guilt is written all over her beautiful face," Angela looked down her nose at her friend, "I saw it the other day when I came to have lunch with you. I dismissed it as nothing, but I do believe the situation has become even more than it was the other day. What's up, B?"

Bella took a sip of her cup, fighting another internal battle that had become part of her daily routine. Each and every disagreement always shared one common factor, Jasper. The weight of having feelings that she couldn't control pressed into her mind, and she wasn't surprised that her closest confidant could see them wreaking havoc with her life.

It was the strain of having something that occupied her thoughts constantly, but went unshared that led Bella to give into the temptation of having someone she could "spill her guts" to. If there was anyone in Bella's life that was going to be safe to share with, it would be Ang.

With a deep sigh, Bella cut the tightly held binds and declared, "I'm having an affair."

Angela immediately sat up, sitting her mug on the side table and staring hard at the girl who certainly was lying, "You're what? I'm sorry; I don't think I was paying close attention because I thought you just said you're having an affair."

Bella met Angela's incredulous stare, her eyes showing that every word had been sincere. Collapsing into the pillow-backed couch, Angela released her held breath asking, "You, you're sleeping with someone other than Edward?"

"No, though if I could be convicted by my thoughts alone, I'd be guilty of that as well. Hell, I may be in more, no, I know I'm in more trouble because it isn't just some physical attraction."

"Some guy at work? Your boss? Someone you've been working closely on a case with?"

Bella chewed on the corner of her lip, her cheeks heating up under her friend's questioning.

"No? One of the girls' friend's parents? Dance class dad?"

Bella just shook her head slowly from side to side.

"You gotta give me something here, B. I'm running out of options. Carlisle? Emmett? Jasper?" Angela joked.

The moment the last name rolled off her lips, Bella suddenly became very interested in picking some invisible lint off her pants.

"Holy fuck. Are you serious? Have you lost your mind? You're having an emotional affair with your brother-in-law?"

Bella let her head fall back and closed her eyes, "I'm going to hell. I realize this. But, I can't stop it Angela. I tried, okay not that hard. But, I gave it an honest effort. He's so kind, and sweet, and the things he says just melt my insides, and when I look in those blue eyes, I just get lost."

Angela closed the gap between the two girls, grabbing her friend's hand and asking, "Isabella Marie Cullen, are you in love with Jasper?"

Bella met her friend's inquiry, eyes slightly damp, "I think I am, Ang. I know I am. I have this ache inside me that grows every time we're apart. He's the first person I think of when I wake up and the last person I think of when I close my eyes. I've started wishing he was the one sharing my bed, and I snap at Edward for just breathing in the same room I'm in. We haven't even kissed really, and yet, when he holds me in his arms, I can't help but feel peace, as if I could just spend the rest of my moments intertwined with him. That's not just lust, is it?"

"How did this happen? Does Alice not realize what's going on? What about Edward?"

"It all started back in October. It was just a regular Sunday dinner, Jasper was helping me pick up after the kids and he told me Alice was having an affair. Looking back, I should have insisted he share with Emmett, but he begged me to keep his secret. I just wanted him to have someone to talk to, but one conversation led to two, then he was showing up for my morning runs bringing me coffee, and then it was a text message that made me smile. Alice is too busy running after the latest thing that's caught her eye, and you know, Edward's MIA more often than not, so he hasn't paid me much attention or has ignored my lack of interest lately." Bella rambled on, "At first, we'd talk about movies or books, but then it'd be what we expected for our lives. We've even spent time just hanging out with the girls and it just fits, you know? We just fit together like we've always been living our lives side-by-side. I don't even remember if dating Edward was that easy. Does that make sense?"  
>"It does, sweetie, but what about Edward or Alice? You are both married; you can't just wish them away. If you're feelings run so deeply for him, surely you're not satisfied hiding things like it's a secret. Do you know if Jasper feels the same as you?"<p>

Bella smiled back at the memory of unexpected words spoken just days earlier, "He told me he loved me."

"Well that's pretty straight forward and clear."

Smile fading, Bella slumped down into the pillows when she said, "I told him to take it back."

"What? You don't want him to love you?"

"Ugh, I do, but it's not that easy. So, we love each other? If that's true, shouldn't something change? Shouldn't we be trying to find a way to be together?" Bella sighed, "It was so much easier when we were just harmlessly flirting with each other, just enjoying each other's company."

Angela snickered, "That may be true, but that's exactly what got you here, and you're both deliriously happy and miserable at the same time. Bella, something's gotta give. You two can't keep this up forever."

"Why aren't you telling me to end this?"

"Is that what you want? Fine, Bella, stop it. You're married, he's married, you'll both end up hurting each other. This is a complete disaster. What the hell were you thinking?"

Bella looked at her friend with pleading eyes, "I don't want to end it. I _love _him."

Patting her friend's hand, Angela replied, "I know you do, sweetie. You're completely smitten and you're going to fumble through this mess trying to get closer to him, whether I tell you it's a bad idea or not. So, how about I just promise that I'll support you no matter how this thing plays out?"

Bella leaned her head over onto Angela's shoulder, having found some relief from having finally shared with her friend, "Thank you."

"Anyhow, he's hot. Who wouldn't want a piece of that? God, do you remember when he used to take his shirt off before diving into the lake when we'd visit during school breaks? Hell, I wanted to have every wicked way I could with him."

Bella smacked her friend's shoulder before laughing, "Shut up, bitch, he's _mine_. Well kind of mine, hell, I don't know what we are, but hands off."

Driving home from Angela's house, Bella was in a good mood. It had been too long since they had taken the time to just hang out with each other, and Bella was reminded why their friendship was so valuable to her. Life certainly wasn't perfect, but knowing that Angela would support her every step of the way was enough to make the day a little brighter.

She debated back and forth whether to interrupt Jasper's Saturday before finally giving in to the pull to hear his voice, and hit the call button on her cell.

"Hello, beautiful, I wasn't expecting to hear from you today. I thought you were spending the day with Angela."

Bella's smile couldn't have gotten any brighter when she replied, "Wow, someone pays attention to me when I tell him where I'm going. Who knew you were so attentive, even to the boring stuff? I just left there, actually. I'm headed back home and I missed hearing your voice, so I chanced a call."

"I miss you too." Jasper continued, "Any day I get to talk to you is a good day for me. Any big plans for the rest of your afternoon? Claire and I have been busy making cookies since it's too cold to run around outside. Thank goodness for a finished basement. I don't know how she'd get rid of all her energy without the space to run wild and free, even in the winter."

Bella laughed at his morning's description, imagining a messy kitchen, tiny sticky hands scooping out cookie dough, and a very attractive man with flour hand prints on the rear of his well-fitted jeans.

"I don't know what I'll get into the rest of the day, but you should definitely bring some of those cookies to tomorrow's family dinner. I have a weakness for chocolate chip."

"Hhmmm, a good thing to remember for the future," Jasper drawled, "Anything to tempt you to spend a little time with me. Just what would you be willing to do for said cookies?"

"What did you have in mind?" Bella questioned heatedly, before clearing her head, "Wait! Don't answer that. I don't want to know. I'm trying to drive, and I need to be able to think clearly."

Jasper chuckled, "Okay, I'll just have to keep all my cookies and naughty suggestions to myself."

Bella coughed before replying, "Anyhow, moving on, I wanted to talk to you about the other night. I know…"

Jasper sighed before interrupting her, "Bella, you were right and I'm sorry. I don't want to make things harder on us then they already are. Me throwing something like that out there just complicates things. I just can't help myself sometimes. You make me laugh, and it's been so long since I've felt happy just spending time with one so lovely."

"I wasn't going to criticize you, J, in fact, I wanted you to know that I've been thinking, and I'm sorry I told you to take it back."

"Whether I take it back or not, Bella, it's how I feel and it only grows stronger, but I can keep it to myself."

Bella took a breath before stating, "I don't want you to keep it to yourself. When I tell you I love you, I want you to be able to tell me how you feel too."

"Wait, what?"

"I love you too."

The words hung between the two of them, silence stretching out and covering the physical distance between them. Finally, Bella couldn't handle the empty air filling her van.

"Jasper?"

"I feel I could do anything in this life with you beside me, do you know that? When you say you love me, it just fills up something deep within me, and I feel more life flowing in my veins than I have in a long time."

Bella couldn't stop the tears that lined the edges of her lashes, "Yeah, well your words aren't too shabby either, mister. Jasper, what are we going to do? I love you so much, and this pull to be with you all the time doesn't seem to be lessening any time soon."

"I don't know, darling. I can't think about tomorrow right now, I just know I love you completely today. Can that be enough for now?"

"Yes, it's more than enough for today."

**A/N: What can I say? I thought they deserved a little happy, ooey-gooey, hearts and flowers moment. Anyone else agree? Leave some love, folks!**


	12. Chapter 12: Withholding

**Disclaimer: I didn't right Twilight, you'll never locate a copy on the shelf of your local library or B&N. Seems that all the covers read Stephenie Meyers as the author.**

**Since I gave them a little aww, lovey-dovey moment last chapter, I had the urge to**

**turn up the heat between our main characters. Anyone else game?**

***** Chapter 11: Withholding *****

_Dear Alice,_

_ Shoving all emotion issues aside, let's just discuss the physical for a moment. Maybe you forgot, but you married a man. A living, breathing, head to toe 100% warm-blooded male. If the list of your transgressions weren't long enough with the cheating or the tearing him down, it seems you thought cutting him off was a fabulous idea. Not just the sex, mind you; you withdrew all physical affection. No more kisses or hand holding, a gentle touch now and then. Instead you became like a living piece of stone, cold and frigid._

_ So, maybe there was just an emotional pull between J and I when this thing began. But, loving words turned into electric touches, and I when I looked into those eyes of his, I caved. Call me weak and I'll call you foolish turning away from that body, those hands, that mouth…_

_Sorry, I got a little lost there. Point is, if you take it away, don't be surprised if he goes out on the hunt._

_ Your Teacher, His Mistress,_

_ Bella_

**J:** So, what are you wearing right now?

**B: **Seriously, that's what you're going with?

**J: **I'm dying here in this meeting; give me something to work with so I don't fall asleep.

**B: **How is knowing what I have on going to help you pay attention to the meeting?

**J: **Just here as a formality. Knowing what you got going on under your clothes will help stimulate my mind while I wait for it to end. ; )

Bella stared at the phone in her hand. Sometimes Jasper was almost poetic with his words of love or he could be playful and teasing. Then there were moments like these, where casual flirting turned a little more risqué in nature. Most of the time, Bella tried to pull him back, but then there were days like these that she gave in to the attraction and indulged his naughtier side.

**J: **Come on, Bella. I'll be a good boy, I swear, just give me one tiny detail. Please, please, please?

**B: **Ivory satin bikinis with tiny polka dots and little frills over each hip

**J: **Damn. What I wouldn't give to lay you down and take those off using just my teeth.

Bella stared at his last message, feeling the temperature inside her rise while her brain conjured up visual images of him doing just that. This was why she tried not to go down this road with him, because in the end, she just ended up with a racing pulse and an ache between her thighs that left her moody and frustrated the rest of the day.

**B: **I thought you were going to behave if I gave you what I wanted?

**J: **You can't give me that image and then not expect me to want more. Tell me you don't want it too, that you don't want my lips on every inch of your skin.

**B: **Fuck. Stop that, J. I have to work.

**J: **Fine, fine, I'll quit. I need to stop anyhow before I have to stand up from this table, or the executives will think there's something wrong with me when I get turned on by blue prints. Talk to you later, sexy.

Bella had to grin a little herself at his last message. It was one thing, the way he

could send a jolt of lust racing through her system with just a word or two, but there was a sense of satisfaction knowing the attraction went both ways.

The rest of the work dragged by, Bella hearing nothing else from the man currently starring in all her fantasies. Then it was time to get Renee to dance and Marie to piano, home for dinner, completion and checking of homework, and then story time with all three females huddled in Renee's bed before she tucked them in and turned out the lights. Sure she was exhausted after a day that had started while it was still dark outside, but having the chance to read a few pages surrounded by her daughters left Bella feeling content and blessed.

The girls had been out for a half an hour, Edward was working the night shift in the ER, and Bella had decided a glass of wine and a long soak in the tub was just what she needed.

Hot water running and Sam Smith crooning on her iPod, Bella lit the candles around the master bathroom and began to undress before a thought popped into her head. Quickly grabbing her cell phone, she took a snapshot of the day's unmentionables, lying on her bathroom rug. Heart racing from the risk, she attached the photo to a text, crossing her fingers that Alice wouldn't be anywhere near Jasper's phone.

**B: **You did say something about wanting these off, no?

She stepped into the tub, placing the phone on the edge, a wicked grin on her face. Closing her eyes she let her muscles unwind in the warm bath, taking a sip of wine and letting the music drift over her. It wasn't too long before her phone signaled an incoming text.

**J: **Damn, you're an evil vixen. I'll be there in ten.

**B: **I'll be waiting in the tub, wet and willing ; )

Sometimes, even Bella shocked herself with what she wrote, but Jasper seemed to channel her inner sex goddess, who preened and strutted under his attention.

**J: **Now, who's killing who?

**B: **Payback's a bitch

**J: **Whose idea was it for us to have these kids? I'm dying to get to you, and I can't.

**B: **Oh well, looks like I'll have to take care of things myself.

**J: **Can I watch?

**B: **Maybe some day, but looks like today just isn't going to be it. Night, handsome.

**J: **Night, beautiful. You've captured my heart and my desire.

Bella went to bed, a smile on her lips and a head full of dreams that someday their

words would become reality.

The next morning Bella was driving to work when her phone rang.

"Hey, there."

"Good morning, beautiful girl! Sleep well, after taking care of things of course?"

Bella giggled at his cheerful greeting, "That I did, fully satisfied and relaxed equals a good night's rest. How about you?"

"Didn't sleep worth a damn. Every time I closed my eyes, I just kept seeing tiny little polka dots. Must have been all that staring at my phone I was doing, courtesy of some naughty texts I received from this brunette bombshell."

"Oh, really? Do I know her?" Bella teased, "Seriously, for a man short on sleep, you're awfully chipper."

"It's the first day of play offs, girl! Gotta get my A-game on. Are you still going to be able to keep Claire tonight?"

His question reminded Bella that Jasper's winter hockey team had entered into the end-of-the-season playoffs and she had agreed to watch Claire while Alice was out of town at an interior design expo.

"Of course, I'll pick her up this afternoon from day care. That way you can get through your work day and focus on your game tonight. It's at 7, right?"

"You're the best, babe. Yeah, game's at 7, and I'm super pumped!"

Bella laughed at his excitement. This was the Jasper she remembered from college, always playing for the university or intramurals. He had remained close friends with his teammates and, as adults, many of them still hit the ice together.

"Well, I'm pulling into my lot, but don't worry about Claire. I've got it covered. You just tear it up out there and bring home a win, okay?"

"Did I ever tell you, I love you more with each day?"  
>"Yeah, yeah, sweet talker. You just want me for my free babysitting."<p>

"That and your sexy panties. What's this morning's choice of lingerie?"

"Uh-uh, not today, pretty boy. I can't have you think I'm easy. You gotta work for it every once in a while. Talk to you later, J. Love you too."

She ended the conversation and started her work day with a little extra spring in her step that wasn't from the morning coffee.

Having picked up both girls from school and Claire from daycare, Bella's kitchen was full of giggles as little hands moved paintbrushes across poster board. Bella had made the decision to pile the girls in the car that evening and take Claire to see her daddy play. Alice wasn't a sports fan and always complained that the rink was too cold to sit there freezing while watching a game she found boring. Bella had even called Carlisle and Esme and asked them if the wanted to join. They were going to order pizza before going to the game together in Bella's van, and she believed that it would be nice to take some signs that showed the family's support of their favorite player.

The game was fast-paced as both teams were taking things a little more seriously with winning counting for a bit more than usual. Men with big sticks and a trophy to capture could sometimes turn into men who threw punches, and more than one player spent time in the penalty box.

As for Jasper, he was in top form having seen his family early in the game. He seemed shocked and pleased by their unexpected appearance. The girls screamed and cheered for him, holding their signs proudly for their father and uncle to see as he skated past. Esme covered her eyes when her son collided brutally with another player, and Carlisle yelled louder than any of them when Jasper scored the first goal of the game. He went on to get an assist in the second half and another goal before the time ran out in the second half. The Sharks won the first game of the playoffs, 3 to 1.

Bella knew that J would want to shower and change before leaving, so she gathered up her sleepy cheerleaders and headed out to the exit.

As she was buckling Claire in her car seat, the three-year-old cried out, "Auntie B, I left my Elsa doll inside! I need to go get her."

"Ssshh, baby, I'll run in and get it. You just sit her with nana and pops. I'll be back in a minute."

She raced back inside, heading back into the quiet arena and down to their seats where she spotted the doll lying abandoned in a folded stadium chair. Snatching the prized possession, she turned and headed back out only to hear a familiar voice yell out behind her.

"Bella! Hey!"

With a warm smile on her face, she turned and gazed upon rugged features and brilliant sapphire eyes that were alive with joy, "Hey there, star player! Congrats on the win."

Jasper closed the distance between them before grabbing Bella by the waist and pulling her to him. Before she knew what was happening, she felt warm lips meet with hers. It took her body only a second before the coil inside snapped and she was returning the kiss, having fisted her hands in his shirt and pulling him as close to her as she could get.

At first, it was just a meeting between the two, his lips grazing over hers gently, testing the waters, getting the alignment right. But when Bella grabbed Jasper's shirt and drew him in, any questions disappeared and his tongue teased across her bottom lip asking entrance and she gladly acquiesced. Their rhythm picked up, each partner trying to take from the other as much as they could; sometimes teeth would click as they drowned in the feeling of giving in to what they wanted. Somewhere in between kisses, Jasper was telling her how much he loved seeing her there, just how much it meant to him. Bella barely acknowledged his thanks as she just wanted more of what he was offering.

With the air heating up around them, it took the man behind them clearing his throat twice before they took notice and Bella froze, staring up at Jasper's face as he looked over the top of her head at the intruder.

"Peter"

"Hey guys, sorry to interrupt, and I mean that, because that was pretty hot to watch, but correct me if I'm wrong in saying that this is a new development," Peter remarked, humor lacing his words, "I knew the Cullens were a close family, but I didn't realize that things were quite this loving between you two. I never get this type of attention from Char's sisters, though they're not as lovely as our Bella here."

"Funny, man." Jasper replied.

Bella had hidden her blushing face in Jasper's chest, but looking up at him, she said, "J, I've got to get back out there to the girls. Your mom and dad are waiting too, and it's way past everyone's bedtime. You'll be by to pick up Claire in the morning?"

"Yeah, babe, I'm going to grab a drink with the guys tonight, but I shouldn't be any later than ten. Okay with you?"

"Of course."

She started to disengage from his embrace, but Jasper held her there a moment longer, kissing her forehead and whispering, "Love you" in her ear. As she was walking towards the door, Peter called out behind her.

"Night, Bella, always a pleasure to see you."

Bella turned and looked at Jasper's friend who was sporting a grin that showed her he'd be giving Jasper hell over catching the two of them. Jasper grabbed him by the arm, and started dragging him back towards the locker room.

"Are you going to say anything?"

"About what? I don't have anything to say about anything. Certainly not about finding you trying to get to second base with your brother's wife," Peter teased his friend, "Did I ever mention that I didn't really like Alice? Oh yes, I did, when you asked her to marry you and I told you it was a mistake."

Jasper breathed a sigh of relief, and while hating to leave Bella's side, he made his way out into the night with his teammates. Hell, it had felt so good to finally kiss her soundly. The fact that they were as connected physically as they were emotionally had his post-game high skyrocketing. There was something good at not having to hide what was going on from his friend and knowing that there wasn't any judgment coming from the man. It had been one hell of a night.

**A/N: Finally, a little make out session, and another reveal! The besties are behind our couple, but would anybody else be shipping our guy and gal?**


	13. Chapter 13: Tempt Me, Tease Me

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or its characters, because as you can read, if I had, Edward would have been forever alone. : )**

******* **Chapter 12: Tempt Me, Tease Me *****

The next morning, Bella was busy in the kitchen making the girls breakfast when she heard the sound of the front door. She didn't turn when she heard him make his way through the house to her, but she jumped slightly when she felt warm arms make their way around her middle as a set of soft lips placed gentle kisses on the side of her neck. She turned her face to look at him only to find that he was waiting to capture her lips with his when she did. She quickly got lost in the connection that had been interrupted the previous evening, though this time the thread of attraction that pulled between the two seemed to stretch slowly in the late morning sunlight, as if it was trying to see just how far it reached into the hearts of this man and woman.

Bella came back to her senses and pulled away from Jasper long enough to whisper, "Edward got home from the hospital a few hours ago and is asleep, and the girls are playing in Renee's room and could come running back here at any moment."

With a sigh, Jasper placed his forehead against hers and stared longingly into her eyes before letting go and wandering across the kitchen to the coffee pot to pour himself a cup. After fixing the dose of caffeine the way he liked it, he turned to find her staring at him. He leaned against the counter in his fitting black t-shirt and worn jeans, with a face that hadn't seen a razor and eyes that look tired and slightly bruised underneath. He was the picture of a rugged angel, an edgy mixture of beauty and strength. She wanted him to lose the shirt. She wanted to explore every edge and plane of his lean frame, taking whatever energy he had left and leaving him fully sated and asleep in her arms.

But now was definitely _not_ the time for such things.

"What?" He questioned before taking a long drag from the stoneware mug in his hands.

"Could you just not, ugh, _that?_" Bella gestured towards his body from head to toe with her hands.

"I think you just pointed to all of me. Is there something wrong with that? I realize I probably look a little hung over, rightly so, but I think I should get some credit for getting up and making my way over here before lunch." He replied with a crooked grin on his face.

"You're just too damn tempting, and we can't. I just want my hands all over you, and it's taking every bit of restraint I have to leave you alone. Is there ever going to be a time when we can give in? Is that what we want? Is that what you want? What are we doing, J?"

Jasper crossed the distance between them and stared down at Bella's questioning expression, "One, I think I've made what I want perfectly clear, so stop looking at me like I'm your favorite dessert and you're starving, because I would willingly offer myself up to you. I think we both know what we're doing in that department. And two, I can't answer your questions right this second, Bella. Like I said, too much alcohol has left me in poor form to have a serious discussion, but if that's what you want, we'll sit down and talk about it later. For now, I love you and I'm going to go gather up three of my favorite cheerleaders to make sure they're ready for whatever delicious thing it is that I smell." He placed a quick kiss on her lips and made his way out of the kitchen, coffee cup in hand.

"Chocolate chip muffins"

He turned back to wink at her, "See? New reasons to love you every day."

Sunday evening found the Cullen clan around the dining room table once again for the family meal. In an unexpected turn of events, everyone was there, even Alice. Bella found herself uncomfortably situated between Edward and Jasper.

_So Bella, how's it going sitting between your husband and your lover? Well, I wish one wasn't here and the other I want to have my wicked way with in his childhood bedroom upstairs. Why yes, I am going to hell, thank you very much._

She busied herself with the consumption of the contents of her wine glass.

_Let Edward be the damn designated driver, I think this situation demands alcohol._

For the most part it was a typical evening - Rose, Esme and Bella talking about the kids, Edward and Carlisle discussing medicine, and Jasper and Emmett talking sports. Alice looked like a petulant child who had been forced against her will to attend, radiating an air of complete boredom having found herself stuck at the table with the rest of them.

Everything was going splendidly until Bella felt a hand slide down her thigh and then move slightly inward where it began to rub lazy circles. She choked on the wine she had just sipped, quickly setting her glass down onto the table causing Esme to look at her with concern while the man on her right chuckled darkly while still carrying on his conversation about the Super Bowl with his brother.

_Well, seems I won't be enjoying Dante's Inferno all by my lonesome…_

She tried grind the heel of her boot into his left foot, but trying to do it without being noticed was difficult and didn't allow her much leverage. That just seemed to amuse Jasper even further, while Bella started to feel her temper rise at his enjoyment.

After dinner, everyone took their part in clearing the table. It was a mass exodus of carrying plates and glasses into the kitchen. Bella made sure to take advantage of the tight space and stepped in front of Jasper at the sink, making sure to brush her body against his and wiggling her ass for good measure. She heard him suck in his breath before she felt a hard pinch to her rear.

While exiting the room, she looked over her shoulder, giving him the one eyebrow raised look that said, _you are so in trouble mister. _He just grinned like a fool and winked as if he had no idea what she could be grumpy about.

The older kids moved to the basement for a game showdown. Even though they had all four remotes plugged in for MarioKart, Bella had one goal, beat Jasper. Given his teasing when he thought no one was looking, she was limited in the ways she could exact her revenge. Claiming victory, even at video games, gave her some sense of satisfaction, but for every round Bella took, Jasper was sure to take the next. They'd taken to talking smack and trying to mentally trip each other up.

"Dammit Jasper, I know you have Emmett throwing all those stupid shells at me just so you'll win. No fair getting back up," Bella exclaimed, throwing a pillow at the two laughing men.

"Aw, Bells, you know I love you, but he's got tickets to the game and I haven't been to the Super Bowl ever. I have to do what he says," Emmett pleaded for forgiveness with a pouty lip and big eyes.

"Dead to me. Both of you. No more food or babysitting or Christmas presents. You're all cut off."

"Emmett Cullen, you apologize to that woman immediately," Rosalie demanded as she smacked her husband's shoulder, "Do you know how hard it is to find someone who will take all three of our boys so we can have dinner out?"

Emmett took to his knees, wrapping his arms around Bella's legs and began frantically pleading for pardon. Bella couldn't help laughing while trying not to fall over from the onslaught.

She looked up at his amused brother before sharply speaking, "_You._ Pool table, now. Wrack 'em up, pretty boy, you're going down."

Jasper bowed his head like he was the most innocent, well behaved man on the planet before making his way to the table and gathering the balls from the pockets and setting up the table. He graciously allowed Bella the first break, but then it was no holds barred as each was focused on taking the win.

Finally, it was down to the final shot and Bella had cue in hand, looking down the eight ball. She glanced up at a pair of blue eyes who were looking intently down the little bit of cleavage he could see from the v-neck of her sweater. She winked at him and allowed the tip of her tongue to run across her slightly parted lips before pulling back her arm and with a loud crack, she sent the coal black ball into the side pocket.

Jasper made his way around the pool table, before taking her hand in his and bowing gallantly before Bella, cried dramatically, "I bow to your superiority, madam. My skills are no match for your expertise."

Bella pulled her hand back before smacking his hand away and saying, "Smart ass"

She made her way back over to Rosalie, leaving the two laughing men at the table, Jasper already setting up another game against his older brother.

Rosalie and Bella were both enjoying a glass of wine on the couch in front of the roaring fireplace when Rosalie finally spoke up, "So, what's new Bella?"  
>Bella looked over at the blonde who was focused on her face before replying, "Um, nothing much? Work, dance, piano, you know how it is."<p>

"Really? Nothing new going on with you?"  
>"Did I miss something, Rose?"<p>

"The question isn't did you miss something, darling sister-in-law, I think the question is if you think the rest of us are missing what's going on between you and Jasper."

Bella tried to steady her racing heartbeat and tried to meet the other woman's stare when she replied, "Jasper and I? I don't know what you're talking about, unless your hinting at me spending extra time with Claire since Alice is 'busy' these days."

"Oh, Bella, innocence does not become you. I'm talking about you and Jasper eye-fucking each other anytime you think the family isn't looking. That little game competition might as well have been titled foreplay, and given the chance, I'm sure you would have claimed your victory winnings right there on the green felt if the rest of us weren't here." Rosalie smirked, the gleam in her eyes reflecting the flames of the fire warming them.

Bella placed her face into the palm of her free hand, preparing herself for the inevitable tongue lashing she was about to get, "I thought we did a better job of covering it up."

"You do, but I've been keeping a closer eye on Jasper since Alice decided to throw in the adultery card. Imagine my surprise when my favorite brother-in-law seemed to be in a better mood than I had seen in months. He's happy, he laughs, and he's spending time with Emmett and doesn't seem to have a care in the world. I thought it odd, and then I caught him locking eyes with you at the Christmas get together. Then your concern of where he had disappeared to on New Year's seemed to go a little bit further than friendly," Rosalie stated her case while Bella's stomach was doing somersaults, "But tonight, you guys are like gasoline and an open flame. Every time the two of you get close, I expect the whole house to burn down."

"Would it help if I explained that I never expected this to happen?" Bella questioned, "We just started talking a little more than we used to, and I discovered we had a lot more in common than I realized. It's just snow-balled from there. Now, I think we're in love, I mean, we feel like we are."

"Let's not forget that sexual tension"

Bella blushed looking into the contents of her wine glass, "Yeah, there's that."

"So, you guys aren't sleeping together, I take it. Well kudos for restraining yourselves, since the two of you are obviously attracted to each other," Rosalie stopped for a moment, looking at her sister-in-law before continuing, "Bella, I haven't a clue what to tell you. You and I both know Alice isn't interested in Jas or Claire these days. I could care less what happens to the bitch, and Edward is always wrapped up in finding one more way to save the world with his medical expertise that he's completely clueless. I never got what you saw in him anyhow, he's always seemed cold and distant compared to Emmett and Jasper. But, Bella, hear me when I say this, you two are flirting with danger here. If the family catches hold of this, I just can't see it going well. What's Emmett or Carlisle or Esme supposed to do? If Edward cries foul play, do they side with him or J? We all want Jasper happy, but this wasn't the solution any of us would have chosen."

"God, Rose, I know this. I've spent hours thinking about all of this, and yet," Bella let out a sigh, "I just can't let go of him."

"Well, it's not just you, Jasper knows damn well what he's doing." Rosalie patted Bella's hand, "I'm not going to say anything right now, but I can't keep this from Emmett forever. He's my husband, and we don't keep secrets. Best tell Jasper that he needs to fess up soon. Emmett loves both of you, Bella, but I just don't know what he's going to think about all of this. Fuck, what a mess. Better finish that glass, dear, I'd dare say you need it."

Early the next morning, Bella was sitting at her desk, replaying the previous night's conversation with Rosalie and thinking about Emmett's possible reaction if he found out. Bella's love for Jasper was carved into her soul, but at the same time, she realized that she couldn't ignore reality forever. It seemed with each passing day, their relationship was being exposed to more and more people. How long before Edward or Alice found out?

**B: **We need to talk about us. Soon.

**J: **Well good morning to you, darling. It's a Monday, isn't that bad enough without adding in serious conversations?

**B: **Dammit, J, you can't keep putting this off. For God's sake, Rosalie knows.

**J: **What?

**B: **It seems you and I aren't too good at hiding our feelings. She confronted me about it last night. You know Emmett's next. We HAVE to talk about this.

**J: **Fine. What did you have in mind?

**B: **Since you're not a fan of Mondays, want to have lunch tomorrow?

**J: **Yeah, that'll work

**B: **Noon at that little pizza parlor on Fifth Street? We can get a booth in the back.

**J: **Sure, I'll see you then. And Bella, I love you.

**B: **I know you do, Jasper, but is that enough for us to get through this?

Bella didn't want to give him a chance to answer. She turned off her phone and stuck it in her purse. If the school needed to get in touch with her, they could call the office directly. She needed time to think about what she was willing to risk to stay with Jasper, what she wanted to say to him the next day. Was it time to let go? He was right; it was a lot to take in on a Monday morning. Bella turned her attention towards the morning's dictation, deciding that momentary distraction was what she needed and she could give more thought to her and Jasper later.

**A/N: Ah yes, there's a storm brewing, friends. Let's be realistic, they can't go on without trouble forever and it seems this secret isn't so good at staying secret. Leave some feedback, follow the story, or jump ship if conflict isn't your thing. Don't say I didn't warn you. **


	14. Chapter 14: The Coming Storm

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer got this whole Twilight thing started, which has resulted in 217,000 plus FanFiction stories. Mind. Blown. **

**I have to admit, I needed a little coffee, grey skies, and a sad song or two to get this one down. Reality bites.**

***** Chapter 13 – The Coming Storm *****

Bella arrived at the small booth in the back of the restaurant first. Winter was in full swing and the skies outside the front windows were grey and cold. Another round of snow was scheduled to begin before nightfall.

She twisted her straw wrapper, rolling it up as tight as it would go, then hinging the paper back and forth like an accordion until she tied the well abused scrap of paper into a knot that tore apart when she pulled. Every motion was an attempt to calm her nerves over facing the inevitable discussion.

She spotted Jasper's entrance as he removed his gloves while walking in her direction, stopping by the booth to remove his jacket and throw it onto the bench seat before taking the spot directly across from her. However, when he reached for Bella's fidgeting hands, she simply pulled them back into her lap, sitting up fully in her seat, increasing the distance between the two.

"Well, okay, then," Jasper sat back as well, taking notice of her worried features, the slight coloring of the skin under her eyes indicating she'd had little sleep the night before.

The waitress came and sat two glasses on the table top, noticing the tension that seemed to vibrate through the air, and choosing to make her exit without an attempt at small talk.

"I went ahead and ordered a small meats. I hope you don't mind."

"Sounds great, though I have to wonder if I'm going to enjoy my meal when you sit there looking like you're getting ready to announce your dying from some fatal illness," Jasper continued, "Bella, I thought you wanted to talk about us. We're great. This isn't an execution."

Bella's resulting laugh sounded like that of a woman on the brink of hysteria. It wasn't warm and inviting, it was cold and mocking.

"We're great? Really? What's great about us, J? The fact that we're sitting in the back of a restaurant praying no one sees us together and starts to question? The fact that we've asked our best friends, and now our family, to turn a blind eye on our infidelity to our spouses? The fact that we aren't free to walk the streets, hand in hand, a kiss shared while sipping coffee at the corner shop? Which part of that is _great?_" Bella's caustic tones assaulted his ears.

Jasper leaned forward, placing his elbows on the table before replying, "Bella, what's going on? I realize you're upset that Rose knows and I'll deal with Emmett, but I thought you were happy with me."

"That's just it! I'm not with you, J, and it's killing me. It is tearing me apart, piece by piece, to keep falling deeper in love with you and then we just part our separate ways and go back to our respective spouses. Yes, when I'm with you, I'm happy, but then one of our family members finds out, and I feel like your dirty mistress. Like what we've shared is covered in shame and it has to be kept in the dark." Bella's eyes filled with tears and she looked down at her hands that were tightly laced together.

"Bella, look at me." Jasper grabbed her hands, forcing her to meet his eyes, "You are _not_ some dirty mistress. Do not speak of yourself that way. What I have for you is real and true and you know I would let everyone see it if I could."

"See? You agree we have to keep it a secret. How do you do it, Jasper?" Bella cocked her head to one side, "How do you seem so fine even though we have to hide?"

"You know I don't have a choice, darlin'. I thought we covered this already. I love you, so I'll live with whatever time I can share. It isn't ideal, but giving you up isn't something I want either."

He let go of her hands as the waitress set down their lunch between them, feeling once again like she had interrupted a heated argument between husband and wife. She moved away with a quick, "Enjoy."

"Well, I can't keep going on like this. You know I love you, but I can't stay in this box you've put me in, waiting until you have the chance to pull me out and pay attention to me, then shoving me back in. I had hoped that when you said you loved me, you understood love like I do, that maybe it was enough to weather the coming storm of telling our families and dealing with the fallout together."

"Bella, you know I have Claire. I can't lose her. I certainly can't hand her over to that harpy I married. My hands are tied." Jasper pleaded with the woman across from him, "What would you have me do?"

"I don't know. I've lost sleep thinking what the solution to our problem is, and there's no easy answer. But you have to make a choice, Jasper. You can't keep cutting me in two like this. It isn't fair to either of us."

"So, that's it then? All or nothing?" His voice had taken on an irritated tone and his posture conveyed his displeasure of having been issued an ultimatum.

Bella gathered her own coat in her hands along with her purse and slid out of the booth, leaving the lunch she ordered untouched, "I'm not hungry."

Jasper grabbed her hand as she started to walk away, "Bella, don't leave. Come on."  
>"You win, Jasper. I'm not going to keep fighting you to give me more than you're willing. But, I've got to get some distance from this, from us. I need to be able to breathe again without the weight of us pressing down on me."<p>

"Would you really have risked it all for me, Bella? Would you honestly leave Edward for me?"

Bella's face lifted into a sad smile, "Yes, I would. That's the thing, Jasper, to me _you were worth it_."

With her final words, she turned and walked away, leaving him to watch her exit and thinking he'd won nothing at all.

Bella finished her work day, phone turned off again. When she picked up the girls from school, she chanced looking at it to see that she had three missed calls and a dozen text messages. She ignored each and every one.

With the falling snow, the girls' activities for the night had been cancelled. The unexpected change of events allowed her family to sit around the table, Edward included. Bella was giving a reprieve from having to converse, allowing the girls to overwhelm their father with their non-stop chatter about everything he had been missing from their lives. Edward paid attention to his daughters, and she smiled as his eyes glazed over from the amount of information they were sharing. They could be a handful when they got going.

The family retired to the den, Edward and Bella settling in on opposite ends of the couch. The girls were on the floor working a puzzle and Edward had turned on some political talk show Bella had no interest in. Instead, she tried to get lost in her latest book choice, having read the same page ten times. She couldn't ignore thoughts of when it was Jasper on that same couch, her body tucked curled alongside his.

"You okay?" Edward asked her.

"Yeah, I'm just tired. I didn't sleep very well last night."

"Well, I think I can handle bedtime, if you want to go on up," her husband offered.

"I think I will take you up on that and go take a bath before tucking in early."

She imparted several kisses to the girls before heading to her room. In the candle-lit bathroom, she sank into the warm water and let her tears flow freely down her cheeks. Making her way to bed, she made sure to turn out the lights and snuggle down into the blankets, just in case Edward was curious enough to notice her tear-stained face.

The rest of the week passed with Bella operating on auto-pilot. Work, school, homework, dinner, bed, rinse and repeat. When Saturday came, she packed the girls up in the van and headed to Charlie's house.

Engaging in a snowball fight with her father and her children lifted her spirits enough that she could enjoy the cold January afternoon. They played board games around his tiny kitchen table, had a delicious dinner prepared by Sue, and roasted marshmallows in the fireplace. Charlie was the hero of the night when he produced graham crackers and chocolate bars for S'mores. The girls were exhausted and fell asleep on the way home, while Bella was relieved to have been able to take her mind off Jasper for an hour or two.

Sunday evening Bella declined joining the rest of the family for dinner, giving Edward the excuse that she wasn't feeling well. He didn't question, but took the girls off to their grandparent's house without her.

She was watching some silly romantic comedy on the television when her phone beeped. Knowing Jasper wouldn't be texting while he was visiting his parents, she checked to see who was messaging her.

**Rosalie:** Where are you and what the heck is going on?

**B: **Sorry, wasn't feeling well.

**R: **Don't give me that bullshit. Alice is complaining about everything Jasper does, and Jasper is looking like his dog died, not even arguing with her. I'm going to clock her if she utters one more sentence.

**B: **Sorry, I just had to get some space, Rose. He won't leave her, and I can't keep being there for him. It's killing me.

**R: **He told Emmett

Bella just stared at the sentence. She figured after she had left him sitting in their secluded booth in the restaurant that he wouldn't feel the need to fess up to his brother. What was the point when nothing could become of them anyhow?

**R: **Emmett's pissed at you both for having put yourselves into this situation in the first place, but he's even more worried at the way Jasper seems to be lost. J didn't mention that you'd pulled away from him.

**B: **As brave as he was for telling Em, it doesn't change the fact that I'm just an affair to him.

**R: **Is that really what you think, Bella?

**B: **I don't know what to think anymore.

**R: **Well, enjoy your pity party, but I don't think you've solved things. The two of you can't avoid each other forever.

Bella chose not to respond, throwing the phone down on side table and turning up the volume on the television, trying to ignore the urge she had to give Jasper a call. Her heart was a traitor, willing to take him however that looked, while her brain reasoned that she deserved more than that. Even when she took a step back, things didn't get easier.

**A/N: Yep, short chapter, I know. But, I don't feel like moving past things falling apart right this second, and that was pretty much all I could handle of writing through the mess that they've gotten into. For those of you that have been conflicted about the whole cheating thing, I realize the weight of what they've done. I'm not going to pretend it's all just one happy love story between our two, because it isn't. Life just doesn't work that way. **


	15. Chapter 15: The Lightening Strike

**Disclaimer: The recipe of plot, characters, scenery, sugar, spices and all that other good stuff that went into Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I took that recipe and made some ingredient substitutions when I wrote this thing.**

**A/N: The writer in me hates to give away any part of the chapter before your eyes take in the words on the screen, BUT, the parental guidance monitor in me demands that I warn you I rated this M for a reason. It may have taken several thousand words, but we're going there. This is a lengthy chapter, but you can make it about 2/3rds of the way through before you have to avert your eyes, so skip forward if it ain't your thing. **

***** Chapter 14 – The Lightning Strike *****

_Dear Alice,_

_ I do believe we've come to the end of our one-way correspondence journey. At least, I know I won't be writing any more notes after this one, and I'm of the opinion that by the time you reach the end of this letter, you'll start tearing them all into tiny little shreds. You were never one to keep your short temper in check._

_ Before we get to the end, let me say, the greatest threat I ever posed to you was never what I could offer Jasper in bed, it was what I could offer him in life. A companion, someone to share the days with, someone who spoke to him but also listened, someone who showed him love and support in the simplest of ways. Let's say I killed your relationship with my kindness. _

_ It's your decision whether you wish to take this reality check for what it is or not. This was my wake-up call to you so I could clear my conscience that I didn't give you a chance to fight back. You have a lovely daughter and a wonderful husband, a successful career, friends and family to create memories to last a lifetime, but somewhere along the way you've gotten lost and decided that you wish to chase down your lost youth instead of embracing the life you've been given. _

_ Now, one last thing, I've signed every one of these "His Mistress" and rightly so. After months of fighting the physical attraction, we gave into our desires. Given your recent affairs, you must understand how that is, right? Nevertheless, that was the moment I made the decision to come out to you with my love for Jasper. I have cherished every moment that we have shared and I would gladly give him the rest of my days if he wants them. But, you must be dealt with first._

_ So, what's your decision, Alice? Step up or stand down, but the next move is yours._

_ Your Teacher, His Mistress,_

_ Bella _

A few more days passed after Bella's brief conversation with Rosalie, and she began to harbor the thought that she could make it without Jasper, that she could let their relationship go if nothing was going to come of it, and maybe with time, she could pull back to the point of being able to be friends again.

Fate chuckled darkly at the silly brunette's denial. Her plan had already been mapped in permanent ink, and she was going to make sure it was carried out.

Getting ready to leave work for the day, Bella answered her cell without thought as to who would be on the other end.

"Hello?"  
>"Hello, darling," a male voice replied.<p>

Bella quickly glanced down at her phone before answering, "Peter, I can't say as I was expecting a call from you this evening. Find yourself stranded at the bar again and in need of a ride home?"

"Oh, Bells, who knew that you loved me enough to come rescue me when I call?" Peter joked across the line, "Should Jasper be worried by our new found affection for one another?"

"Jackass," Bella muttered as her finger approached the disconnect button on her phone.

"Bella, Bella, Bella, don't hang up. _Please."_

"One reason why I shouldn't?"

"Because I love Jasper like a brother, and I know you love him too."

Bella audibly sighed before asking, "Whether that is true or not, I don't see why it necessitates a need for a phone call."

"He misses you, Bells," Peter sighed, "He's not the same since you walked out on him that afternoon. I know you won't return his calls and you're avoiding him. Dammit, he's checked out on us like he did when he found Alice in bed with that guy, only this time, he's ten times worse."

"Peter, I can't keep dragging my heart down a path that leads nowhere. You know he won't leave her. What would you have me do?"

"Please, just give the guy ten minutes of your time. Maybe you two aren't destined to spend eternity together, but there has to be something better than this," Jasper's friend pleaded with her.

Bella conceded to the desperation in his voice, "Fine, I'll call him this evening."

"You know, if you wanted to talk to him face-to-face, I know he's working late on that restoration project over on Magnolia Avenue. He spends most of his evenings poring over the plans there, avoiding everyone."

"Pushing it, Peter"

"Hey, he's my best friend, I have to try. What would you do in my place?"

Bella knew she'd do just about anything for Angela if her friend was hurting, "Sure, I understand. I'll think about it."

"That's all I ask. Have a good night, Bella, my darling, my love!"

Bella laughed at his last attempt to be endearing, "Smart ass."  
>She ended the call, hearing him laugh at her return jab. It only took about five minutes worth of weighing the pros and cons of seeing him in person before her feet were taking her out the office exit and towards her vehicle. Magnolia was just a fifteen minute drive, and she thought it might be nice to bring him dinner as a peace offering.<p>

_Peter's right, we can't go on like this forever. _

She found him in the home's dining room bent over various blueprints that covered every inch of the tabletop. His button down was untucked, sleeves rolled up messily to his elbows exposing toned forearms. His hair was a chaotic mess and he had a pencil clasped between his teeth. He didn't even hear her come in, he was so engrossed in the project before him, giving her the time to commit the image of him working to her memory.

Bella broke the silence, "The work you guys have done here is lovely. This house has always possessed character, but you've managed to uncover a hidden beauty that wasn't there before."

Startled he looked up at the woman standing in the room's doorway, a couple of take out containers in one hand and a bag with what looked like soda bottles in the other. God, he'd missed her. If he ever thought that he was using Bella as a replacement for what he couldn't get from Alice, he was wrong. She wasn't a fill in, she was his one desire, the woman he wanted by his side every morning and night. Every empty space in his day longed to be filled with her voice, her laughter, or just her quite presence. He started to stride across the room purposefully towards her, but Bella held up her hand conveying that he halt his steps.

"Slow down there, J. I want to talk, but I still need a bit of room," she pleaded with him, hoping he would concede to her request without getting upset.

"Sure, I can do that," Jasper tucked his hands into his jeans, "Looks like you brought dinner? It smells delicious and I can't remember the last time I ate today. Want to go sit on the stairs?"

She followed him out of the dining room to the wooden staircase that was located directly across from the entryway to the home. Jasper leaned against the wall a few steps up from the ground floor, while Bella chose to lean against the banister, angling her body towards him, one step below. She handed him the box of Chinese she had picked up and set his drink down on the empty stair where he could reach it. They ate in silence, both taking turns being completely absorbed by eating their dinner then chancing a glance at the other when they thought they wouldn't get caught.

"I've missed you."

Bella looked up from her food to catch the sincerity in his eyes, "I've missed you too."

"Bella, I realize that you want more from me. God knows, I want to give it to you, but is there nothing else I can do to make you happy?" Jasper moved down to Bella's step so he wasn't looking down at her, "This being apart isn't what I want, and I don't think it's what you want either."

"Of course not, J, I love you. I don't know, part of me ran because it felt like I'm more invested in this than you are. I'm willing to give more than you are. We aren't equals."

"Okay, I can understand how you'd think that, but Bella, tell me what I'm supposed to do. Can you guarantee me that if I take Alice to court, I won't lose Claire? That Alice won't demand full custody just to get back at me for leaving her?"

Bella knew he had a valid point. She'd seen it happen time and time again with her clients.

"Dammit, Jasper, I know you're right, and your love for Claire is one of the many things I cherish about you, but then what's the solution for us? What are we supposed to do?"

"I don't know, but I know I don't want to keep going on the way we have over the last few days."

Bella turned her body so she was sitting side-by-side and leaned her head against his shoulder, closing the distance between them. For a few moments, they both just breathed in the quiet, taking in the peace and comfort that always seemed to exist between them.

Jasper laughed, "Even Alice realized something was wrong."

Bella sat up and looked him in the eyes, "What?"

"She told me to stop moping around the house and find some other hockey whore to screw in my free time between games."

Bella huffed before returning her body back to Jasper's side, "Delightful as always, that Alice. Too bad she doesn't even realize that you're not even having sex with me. If I threaten her existence, it's because of our love, not our ability to screw each other into an oblivion."

Jasper looked down at her and wiggled his eyebrows, "I don't know, Bella. I'd be willing to give that last bit a try. Might shore up your case for me running away with you."

"Nice, stupid male hormones," Bella snorted, "Here I was willing to give you credit for being more evolved."

"Hey, in case you haven't noticed, I'm the perfect combination of brains and sex in one highly desirable package."

"Tell me, did they have to widen the doorway so you could fit that massive ego into this house? Is that why you spend so much time here, too much effort going in an out?"

"I kind of like going in an out," He stated calmly while taking a bite. Bella reached over and pinched his thigh, "Hey! Hands off, woman! Don't damage the goods."

Bella rolled her eyes at his antics, but a smile that had been missing for days had returned to her features.

"Bella?"

She had her mouth full and could only mumble, "Hmm?"

"Alice is going out of town next week."  
>"Good for her."<p>

"No, I mean she's going out of town with her dad and sister to visit her aunt. She's taking Claire with her. I'll have the house to myself all week."

"Are you suggesting I stay with you, Jasper? Have you cleared this plan with my husband? Did he give you the green light?"

Jasper rolled his eyes this time, "Okay, smartass, I realize it could never happen, but I just thought, when will we ever get this opportunity again?"

Bella thought about the chance to spend a whole week uninterrupted with Jasper -having him all to herself, no distractions, no outside world, just him and her. While the idea was appealing, she didn't see how she'd get away with suddenly handing all parenting responsibilities over to Edward in order to spend the week with her lover.

_The frustration just never ends with us. I swear Fate and the universe have conspired to keep us apart._

With the passing days, Bella and Jasper fell right back into their niche, as if their argument had never happened. Bella knew they were both continuing to ignore the problem at hand and seeing Rose and Emmett's speculative looks at her and Jasper during the Sunday dinner only confirmed that they hadn't really solved anything. At one point, she stuck her tongue out at Rose when she caught the woman staring at the pair like they were a riddle that needed answering. Jasper caught the interaction and bumped Bella's shoulder with his to end the interchange, laughing at the two women.

Monday came and went with the knowledge that Alice had left town that morning.

Tuesday brought several texts explaining that Jasper had a late night game that evening and was planning on taking the next few days off to just chill and maybe have Peter over to watch NBA games, "woman free." Bella rolled her eyes at his text, called him a slacker, but wished him luck at his game that evening.

Wednesday morning brought an end-of-winter, beginning-of-spring rain storm. The ground was still hard from the frigid months and the temperature was just low enough to be miserable. The overall mood in the office was gloomy. She stared at her screen, then looked at her phone, then back to the screen. Work remained unfinished, and no text from Jasper came. The hours dragged on and all she could think about was Jasper, home alone.

Caution got thrown to the wind around 11 with an outgoing message.

**B: **Got a favor to ask

**Angela: **What's up, chic?

**B: **If Edward happens to ask, can you say I spent the night at your house this evening?

**A: **What are you up to?

**B: **Do you really want to know?

**A: **Ugh, yes, no, hell, Bella, are you sure you know what you're doing?

**B: **Nope, but I think I'm past caring

**A: **Go. If Edward asks, I'll cover your sorry ass.

**B: **You're the best, Ang, I love you

**A: **Just check in with me tomorrow, okay?

**B: **Absolutely

Bella gathered her things, shooting Edward a quick message that she would be having dinner with Angela that evening and watching some chic flicks. Given the wine they were expected to drink, she would just crash at their place. She knew Edward was off that evening and could handle the girls.

With her course set, she made her way out towards Jasper's house, not knowing if she would find him there or just what she would do if he was.

Bella's nerves were wreaking havoc through her system when she pulled up into his drive, the rain pounding loudly on the roof of her vehicle as she sat there, staring at the front door. Taking a deep breath, she exited and scurried towards the front step, hoping it just might be unlocked. She didn't want to have to stand there waiting for him to answer the doorbell.

Fortune smiled upon her when she turned the knob easily in her grasp and slid into his home. First things first, she removed her heels and ran fingers through her wet hair. Her shirt was sticking to her body, and she shivered a little from the chill of the damp material. She tiptoed past the dining room, glancing into an empty kitchen and heard sounds coming from the family area of the great room.

There he was, stretched out across the couch, one hand over his head, remote in hand, bare-chested in a pair of faded sweatpants. Bella licked her lips at the display of skin stretched across taut abs, a light dusting of blond hair that trailed from his navel down into his low hanging pants. He had some action movie on the TV and was completely oblivious to his unexpected guest until she bumped into an end table.

Looking up, he said, "Fuck, Bella. You scared the crap out of me!"

Running a hand through his hair, he looked her over noticing the bare feet and weathered appearance. His gaze turned heated as thoughts of what could have brought her to him in the middle of the day, shirt clinging to her breasts, chest rising with her quickened breath, brown eyes staring straight into him. He sat up on the couch, as she made her way slowly across the room, stopping directly in front of him.

Jasper moved to the edge of the couch, Bella stopping directly between his legs. She still hadn't spoken a word to him, but just ran her hand down the side of his face while he leaned into her palm, closing his eyes and taking in her touch.

When he looked back up, he saw a look of hunger and desire in her features. He wanted it, and so did she, the question was who was going to make the first move.

Jasper took his hands and gently lifted the bottom of her shirt letting his lips slide over the exposed skin of her stomach. Bella sighed and closed her eyes, letting her fingers run through his hair.

His husky voice ghosted across her skin, "Please."

Bella opened her eyes and drifted into the dark blue depths of the storm gathering in his gaze before taking her hands and lifting the wet shirt over her head. Without breaking from his stare, she reached behind and unclasped her bra letting it slide down her arms and onto the floor. Jasper made quick work of sliding his hands up her ribcage, watching her newly exposed nipples harden before teasing one rose-colored bud with his fingers while the warm heat of his mouth closed over the other. Bella gasped at the attention and continued to allow her hands to play with his curls.

Her whimpers ghosted across the air in the room while he continued to torture and tease. While his mouth continued to lavish attention on her breasts, his hands had slid down her skirt and up the backs of her legs, kneading the flesh of her ass, pulling her into him. He stopped what he was doing long enough to pull the skirt down, followed by her black lace bikinis. Bella stood before him completely nude in the open room, but that only added to the excitement and heat as his hands ran over every inch of flesh he could get to before sliding back onto the couch and bringing her down on top of him.

Her feverish, wet core straddled his lap, and she could feel his hardened erection pushing up between her legs. She met his lips with hers and it was a fury of deep kisses, fierce and passionate, sometimes finding Bella sucking almost painfully on his bottom lip while her fingernails dug into his shoulders. The pace continued to quicken until Jasper pushed Bella back enough that he could awkwardly shift his sweats down his legs, freeing himself from the constraining material.

Bella returned to straddling his lap, soaking in the feeling of skin on skin now that they were both unclothed. She let her fingers lightly run up and down the sides of his throbbing cock before she locked eyes with him and let her body slide down, taking him in deeply. Her lungs slowly exhaled as her body took in the feeling of finally having him inside her after fantasizing about it for so long. He was the perfect fit, and she reveled in the feeling of their two bodies merging into one. She leaned forward and savored a soft gentle kiss with him before moving her hips back and pushing down onto him again.

Bella grabbed the back of the couch with her hands on either side of Jasper's head, widening her hips so she could fit her body as close to his as possible. With the change in positioning, she could feel the ridge of his head slowly slide against that spot inside her pussy that ignited a desire demanding attention. She tried kissing him again, but the rhythm of her body searching for completion had her thrusting back and forth, and Jasper grasped her ass leaning his head back so he could watch the way her pleasure crossed her face. Breasts thrust forward, Bella arched her back and let her head fall, feeling her orgasm build and then release, like liquid fire that coated down the sides of his thickened length.

She leaned forward welcoming his deep kiss, quivering slightly until he shifted into her hips again causing her to moan. She opened her eyes and broke the kiss, panting in the aftermath of coming.

"Fuck me, Bella, ride me."

Once again, she allowed her body to glide along his, picking up her speed, crashing her mouth against his, barely breathing until she felt his grip tighten and he held her in place while his body poured into hers.

Emptied and sweating, Bella tucked her head onto his shoulder while he ran his fingers up and down her back.

"Well that was a surprise."

Bella could barely think to come up with anything more in reply than, "Mmm"

"Bella, I need you to know, I don't think I can live without you anymore. I don't know what we're going to…"

Bella placed a finger on his lips to stop his talking, "Jasper, shh. We are not staining this moment with serious discussions. That was some of the best sex I've had, and I plan on doing it again before this day is over. You have me all to yourself until tomorrow. For now, just let that be enough."

Jasper grinned, "Till tomorrow?"

Bella nodded her head, returning his smile.

"Care for a shower?"

"That sounds heavenly."

Having finished their shower in the guest bathroom, the two lovers curled under the covers of the queen-sized guest bed and drifted off into a satisfied sleep. Jasper's slumber ended when he felt long hair tickling across his chest and fingers drawing lazy patterns across his stomach. He opened his eyes, expecting to see Bella's face but found himself staring at the back of her head.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm admiring your penis. It's quite lovely and I'm quite the fan of what I know it can do."

Jasper chuckled, "You're admiring my penis?"

"Mmm-hmm," Bella replied as she let her fingers stroke down one side of his length, watching it jump in reaction to her touch. She let her hand wrap around his shaft and gently rubbed up and down his length, feeling the velvet skin harden under her attention. She could hear his breath pick up as a drop of liquid started to form.

Leaning forward, Bella licked the slit before closing her lips in a gentle kiss around the head of his cock. Letting her tongue circle around the edge, she gently suckled, her hands still working the rest of him.

"Fuck, Bella"

Readjusting her body so she was positioned between his thighs, she gently raked her fingernails up the insides of his thighs before leaning forward and sliding her mouth down onto his fully engorged cock. She took turns letting her tongue swirl and dance up his length, only to increase her suction with the next pass. She slowed down her rhythm to look at Jasper's face, as his hands fisted into the sheets, and his head shifted from one side to the other.

"So damn good."

She increased her pace until he finally cried out, "Stop, Bella, stop."

Bella twirled her tongue around the head one more time before releasing him from her grip, and Jasper quickly flipped her over and slid deep into her aching flesh. One thrust then two before he moved onto his knees taking her feet and placing them on his chest. Bella's knees fell open and she stared up at his face as he looked down, watching his cock slide in and out of her pussy.

"So fucking beautiful"

The heat gathering between her thighs increased as she watched him slowly fuck her. Feeling brazen, she licked two fingertips then used them to circle and pinch her clit. Turned on even further by watching her now join in the act, Jasper picked up speed, pounding into her flesh, feeling her walls tighten around him until they were both coming together.

Allowing her legs to slide down his sides he leaned forward, showering her with kisses until their heartbeats started to slow.

Propping himself up on his elbows, he looked into her face, "Darlin', I think you're going to kill me, but damn, what a way to go."

Bella giggled, "That good, huh?"

"Phenomenal, amazing, mind blowing, I'm never letting you out of this bed."

Bella continued to laugh at his praise while he collapsed beside her.

She turned her body into his, wrapping an arm around his middle and snuggling into his side.

Jasper placed a soft kiss on her head, "I love you. Thank you for giving me this day, and for giving me the chance to love you."

Bella sighed, "I love you too."

And she did, today, tomorrow, the next year, the next century, even though she feared their future, Bella knew her love for him wasn't going to end.

**A/N: Well there you have it. I was threatened that I needed to allow our pair to get a little action. Hope it was worth the wait. I for one am exhausted by my first foray into writing smut, so hopefully it finds your approval. Till next time, leave some love, complain about the plot, just say hi, whatevs!**


	16. Chapter 16: Lighting the Match

**Disclaimer: Twilight is not my creation, nor am I trying to convince anyone who reads my work that it is. **

**I hope you all enjoyed the last chapter and the fact that our favorite pair finally got to enjoy a little alone time. Heads up, that was not the point where this story turns into a sex fest, there's a plotline that needs to be accomplished and I can't have them getting it out on every available surface. **

***** Chapter 15: Lighting the Match *****

The rest of that day and into the night, Jasper and Bella remained wrapped in their own little cocoon, ignoring the outside world. Jasper had made plans for Peter to come over for a guy's night, but once Peter had driven past and seen Bella's vehicle in the drive, he knew plans had changed. He simply texted his best friend that if Bella was staying the night, they might want to pull her van into the garage away from prying eyes that might want to question her extended stay at his house while Alice was away.

Inside the walls of their personal haven, the heat flowing through the vents kept the cold rainy night from invading their limbs. Bella lounged in a well worn t-shirt Jasper had given her while he had slipped back into his comfortable sweats. They cooked dinner side by side, popping open a bottle of wine to enjoy while they prepared their evening meal and bringing it with them back into the living room after the dinner dishes had been placed in the washer. They tried to watch a movie, but Bella's wandering fingers kept dipping below the drawstring waist of Jasper's pants, and that led to Jasper pinning her down to the couch before allowing his mouth to show her that he was just as talented at bringing her sweet release with his tongue as he was with the rest of his body.

They switched the movie off and turned on some music, enjoying the rest of the bottle of wine, their brains slightly fuzzy from the alcohol and the euphoric high of being able to enjoy each other's bodies. They dreamed out loud of being able to move into the house that Jasper had been renovating and beginning a life together. Bella would quit her job and focus on writing, and Jasper would finally have a home he could look forward to returning to at the end of the day. They were both young enough that if they wanted to have a child together they could, but if not, their three girls would keep them busy. Bella daydreamed of a little boy with impish curls, a dimpled chin and deep blue eyes just like his daddy.

Bella had started her early morning at the office, so she couldn't help but yawn as the clock edged closer to midnight. Jasper wrapped her up in the blanket they had been sharing on the couch and carried her back to the bedroom, placing her under the covers and sliding in behind her, curling his arms around her waist and taking a deep breath of her scent before drifting off to sleep.

The moon kept watch over the pair that shifted and turned in their sleep but always found a way, even in their unconscious state, to be touching one another.

Bella stared at Jasper's sleeping face while the sun had just begun to change the deep blue sky to a lovely shade of magenta. Red sky at morning, sailor's warning was the familiar saying, so it looked like frigid spring rain might be in the forecast for a second day in a row. She knew Jasper hadn't planned on going in to work that day, but she couldn't justify disappearing from the job twice in one week without coming up with a believable lie, so she kissed his forehead before sliding out from under the covers and making her way to the bathroom.

After checking the time on her cell phone to see if Angela would be awake yet, she sent a text to her friend to see if she could stop by and pick up some fresh clothes for work. Angela was barely up and running but told her friend to come on over.

Bella came in the front door of the familiar house without knocking and found Angela standing in the kitchen with a steaming cup of coffee in hand.

"Good morning, bestie. Get much sleep last night?" Angela asked with a slight smirk on her features.

Bella grabbed the cup from Angela's hands, "I may have gotten an hour or so."

"An hour or so? My, my, it seems someone made good use of her time. I will assume this means you guys click, both out of _and_ in the bedroom."

"And on the couch, and in the shower, and…"  
>"Stop! Stop! I didn't ask for details. Enough! I haven't had enough caffeine to process anything else, and I'm not drunk enough for dirty girl talk. You look exhausted but satisfied, so we'll just leave it at that." Angela laughed at her friend while covering her ears.<p>

Bella sipped the warm beverage in her hand and stared out the window at the rain slowly making its way down the glass.

"Should I ask if it was worth it, if you have any regrets?"

Bella sighed and looked down into her mug, rolling the question around in her mind, "Well, it's too late to go backwards, so if I regret anything, I can't change it now. Was it worth it? Physically, yes. We fit so perfectly in bed, and while it was awkward at moments trying to learn each other's buttons to push, it's been awhile since I've had really good sex like that. I wanted to throw the rest of the week's plans out the window and remain in that room with him, screw the world. Emotionally, I don't know. Once again, I find myself falling deeper in love with him, and in return, that which is within me pulls at me a little harder to run to him, to cling to him as if my next breath depended on his touch. So, living with this ache, this unmet yearning, is that a price I'm willing to pay having shared the night with him? I don't know yet."

Angela walked over to place an arm around Bella's shoulders and pulled the hair strands that were falling down into her friend's eyes out of the way. Bella looked up and met her friend's concerned stare.

"Bella, dear, how much longer are the two of you going to let this go on? This isn't just some friends with benefits arrangement where you guys are just finding some shallow physical satisfaction with each other. You're in love, and I have a feeling Jasper is too. I'm afraid you guys are reaching the end of pretending that you can keep this contained."

"I know, but I just don't think Jasper's going to move on this."

"And, what about you? What are you going to do?"

Bella put her cup down and wiped at her eyes, "I've come to the realization that things with Edward and I aren't as grand as I pretend, and after starting this thing with Jasper, I think I need to let Edward know that we've fallen out of love with each other. We're just co-existing in a shared environment. Could we keep going like this? Probably, but I don't want to get to the point where I hate him. He's the father of my children, so I'd like to be able to remain friends."

"Well, that takes care of one of you at least."

"I think I'm going to tell Alice."

Angela's head snapped towards Bella, "What do you mean you're going to tell her?"

"I mean, if Jasper won't do anything about this, then I will. One way or another, something has to change. He may hate me for it in the long run, but what if, Angela? What if we could be together? What if Alice is willing to let him leave and keep Claire with him? Shouldn't we try?"

"Hey, I agree with you that you both need to do something, but do you really want to talk to Alice without asking Jasper about it first?"

"Absolutely. Jasper will only try to talk me out of it, and I can't be his dirty secret anymore, Ang. If I lose him, at least I won't have to keep holding this affair inside me anymore, panicking every time someone new finds out about us."

Angela placed Bella's cup in the sink and embraced the girl in a warm hug, "You know I'm behind you, Bells. Whatever you decide, however this thing goes down, I'm here for the long run."

Bella held tight to her friend, the electric current of fear crawling under her skin as her brain already started to imagine what life would be like without Jasper in it. She let go of Angela and moved out of the kitchen towards the bathroom for a hot shower and clean clothes, formulating a plan of how to break it to both Edward and Alice.

While most people would think that Bella would spend her day reliving the last 24 hours she spent in Jasper's arms, that isn't how she wiled away the hours of her 9 to 5 job. Early on that morning it became apparent that she was going to have a slow day with few tasks to occupy her thoughts. So instead, she concentrated on what to say to Alice, what to tell the women so she would understand the depths of her feelings for Jasper and the way he felt about her in return.

Bella knew Alice would lose it when she discovered they had slept together. She may not love Jasper, she may have even entertained more than one lover herself, but Alice was never known for her willingness to share or give up what she perceived to be hers. You could have it once she was finished with it, but not a moment before. Therefore, Bella had to think of a way to convince her to let Jasper go.

The man in question had called her that morning after he finally roused from his deep slumber. He had been slightly upset to find the space beside him empty, but he understood that Bella didn't have the luxury of spending another day with him. Instead, he tried convincing her to spend an enjoyable lunch hour back in his arms.

"J, yesterday was a rare thing, I can't fall into bed with you for half an hour than come back to the office smelling like sex and sin."

"Ooohh, you make that sound so naughty, say it again, I get hard just hearing those words come out of your mouth."

"Hanging up now, Jasper."

"Hey, hey, just kidding, don't hang up, darlin'." Jasper begged, "Is there something wrong, Bella?"  
>Bella sighed and rubbed her temples with her free hand, "No, there's nothing wrong. I would spend the afternoon shagging you senseless if I could Jasper, but I can't, nor do I want to indulge you in some naughty phone talk while I'm sitting at my desk. I'm just cranky is all. After last night, I want that all the time. And not just the sex, though that was fantabulous, I mean the cooking and the cuddling and the sharing a home. It's a fantasy I want to make a reality."<p>

"Me too, and someday, maybe we can have that, but today isn't it, Bella. Please don't be short with me because I can't give you what you want. You know I would if I could."

"Would you, Jasper? If Alice let you go tomorrow and I walked away from Edward, would you come for me?"

"Of course, I love you."

"That was all I needed to know. Look Jasper, I have some things I need to finish, I'll have to talk to you later. I love you."

"Okay, beautiful, don't work too hard. I'll go watch that movie someone kept interrupting last night. Love you, baby."

Bella hung up the phone and hoped that Jasper meant what he said. If she could get Alice to walk away, they could stand together and work through things until they found a way to create a life they could share. She thought about the past few months as she and Jasper had slowly started to fall in love and considered just what had gone wrong between him and Alice. Aside from the affair, it really wasn't anything big, but more like tiny cracks in their relationship until they had created an unstable structure that was barely holding together. If Alice had just put in a little effort, she probably could have prevented the destruction of her marriage.

_Maybe I should give her a chance to keep him….no, that's stupid, Bella, she threw him away and I fixed him, he loves me….but what if she loves him in spite of her behavior and she's just temporarily lost her mind, doesn't she deserve a chance to fix her marriage…no, that's ridiculous…but what if…._

Finally, Bella came to the conclusion that she had to give Alice a chance. Maybe if she worded the past few months in a way that showed Alice just what had gone wrong between her and Jasper and how he and Bella had fallen in love, maybe then Alice could decide whether she was willing to put forth the effort needed or walk away. Either way, Bella's conscience would be clear.

So, Bella pulled some paper out of her desk and began to write a letter to her dear sister-in-law. Her hand worked furiously across the paper as she finished the first note, realizing that she wanted Alice to see one by one where things had fallen apart, how she had lost the man Bella had come to cherish. When work demanded her attention, she'd take a break, but when she came back to her correspondence, a new piece would fall into place as to what she should say. She tucked the letters into her bag, and after the girls had gone to bed that evening, while waiting for Edward to return from the hospital, Bella continued to pour her thoughts onto the paper, sealing each letter into an individual envelope and writing a number on the outside.

**A/N So there you have it folks, we've come full circle. The letters have been written. Now all that's left to deal with is the fallout. Thanks for those of you who have stayed with the story from the beginning. I will tell you that the ending I originally had planned has been hijacked and we're going in a different direction. While I can't make everyone happy, hopefully, most of you will be satisfied. Write a review, follow the story, show some love! I'm hoping to have another chapter up before the weekend. **


	17. Chapter 17: Going Down In Flames

**Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephanie Meyers.**

**A/N: I think I'm pretty spent after finishing this chapter. It took a lot of time and energy to try and play out both houses, so there's more than the usual amount of words. I tried not to short change anyone's emotions, but then again, I didn't want to ramble on and on till it was boring. **

***** Chapter 16 – Going Down In Flames *****

When Alice returned from her trip late Thursday night, she didn't expect Jasper to welcome her home with open arms and a tender kiss. In fact, she had half expected him to be absent from their house, probably out playing hockey or watching whatever sports game was on the TV at the bar he and Peter frequented. Alice didn't care if he wasn't there to try and start a conversation about her trip, but she was exhausted after having Claire to herself for almost a week straight and was ready to hand the child off to her father.

The following morning, still tired from the long drive home, she was more than happy to let Jasper fill Claire's belly up with sugar coated cereal and take her to daycare on his way into the office. Alice felt she had earned a day to recuperate from her family visit and had planned on spending her Friday looking through the latest design catalogs and magazines before taking herself out for some afternoon shopping at her favorite boutiques downtown.

Instead, she was watching the clock tick away the seconds on the wall, still holding the last letter Bella had written in her hand. Her fingers were drawn into claws that gripped the edge of the paper, the other letters scattered across the table in front of her. With each numbered envelope she'd been increasingly pissed and had taken to ripping them open with fury, so the last letter wasn't exactly intact. Alice had torn the paper almost completely in two before even getting the chance to read how that bitch had had the audacity to sleep with _her _husband.

The sound of the front door brought her out of the red fog that had clouded her vision in time to see Jasper walk into the kitchen. Alice quickly picked up the salt shaker from the table and hurled it towards his head.

"You bastard," she spit out.

"Alice, what the f-" Jasper barely got the words out, as the matching pepper shaker pegged him in the shoulder before he could dodge out of its path, "Ow! What the hell is wrong with you!"

"You lying, cheating, miserable son of a bitch," Alice stood up from the table and began to advance towards her husband

"Alice, you have yet to explain what this is about," Jasper tried to remain calm, holding his hands up in front of him, but inside his pulse was rising and a sick feeling had begun to form in the pit of his stomach.

Alice whipped back towards the table and picked up the unfolded pieces of paper, turning around just as quickly to shake them in the air, "Explain? How about you explain? No, no, no need actually, I have it all spelled out for me here in black and white from your _mistress_. I'm a miserable mother and wife, so that gives you a free pass to screw around, and not just anyone, no, you're fucking your precious sister-in-law!"

Alice threw the papers towards Jasper and they went in various directions as they made their descent towards the ground, but he was able to grab one and barely glance at the familiar script on the page.

He was quickly filled with confusion over why Bella had not told him she was going to do something as drastic as telling Alice about their affair. Hadn't he disclosed to her his fears about losing Claire? Why would she have done something that could cost him his daughter?

"Is she lying?"

Alice's question interrupted his thoughts. Jasper looked down at the snarling face that stood accusing him and his own temper snapped, "Does it matter?"

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean, Jasper? Does it matter? Are you sleeping with her or not?"

"That's the only thing that bothers you here, isn't it? It isn't the fact that she loves me, or that maybe she has taken an interest in my life? It isn't the conversations we've shared, it's the sex!" Jasper squared his shoulders, locking stares with Alice, "Well that's funny, Alice, because last time I checked, you've been screwing around behind my back for months. If the sex is really the problem here, then would you like to offer up an explanation for your own behavior?"

"If it bothered you so much, then why the hell didn't you talk to me, Jasper? Why was the answer to you being angry with me, sleeping around with someone else yourself?"

"It wasn't to get back at you, Alice! I tried talking to you about your affair last year and you played it off like my being out of town was a good enough excuse for you to slip up. I tried to let it go, but then you started sleeping with your client, or did you not think I knew of that one? Hell, Emmett saw you out with the guy! You've been running around with your sister like you're some care free college kid, you ignore Claire and I here at home, so yeah, I found myself talking to Bella, and yes, I fell in love with her, and yes, I finally slept with her. But, I will not go down in flames bearing the burden of this mess all by myself. Take a look in the mirror, Alice, this is just as much your doing as it is mine."

He'd had enough of Alice's shirking the blame onto him. Jasper turned away from his wife and made his way into his bedroom and slammed the door behind him. He grabbed the cell out of his pocket and sent a quick text to the one person he felt truly betrayed by.

**J: **What the hell have you done?

Bella was sitting at the kitchen table, skimming through a clothing catalog that she really wasn't looking at. She hadn't known what to reply to Jasper's text the day before, and she didn't know if she should call him or let him be. He'd said nothing else to her in text, not had her phone been ringing. One the one hand, she had asked herself the very same question. What _had_ she done? Maybe she was wrong for sharing with Alice, but then, she knew Jasper wasn't going to talk to her. There were two people involved in the relationship she shared with Jasper, and didn't she have a right to say something? Bella was finished hiding and hurting and feeling confused and upset. She had already come to the conclusion after further talking with Angela that her marriage with Edward was coming to an end. He may argue that they could hold onto what they had, but in the end, she felt Edward knew things weren't the same between the two of them.

Edward came in from doing rounds at the hospital and Bella glanced up from the page in front of her, catching his eye as he tossed his keys into the bowl on the counter.

"Hey," Edward glanced into the great room that was empty and silent save for the crackling fire in the fireplace, "How'd you manage to get the girls to be so quiet? Are they playing hide and seek and they're waiting for you to come find them?"

"No," Bella slid the magazine away from her before standing up from the table, "I sent them to your mother's house. We'll pick them up tomorrow when we go over for dinner. I thought we'd just stay in for the night, just the two of us."

Edward smiled, "Okay, I'll bite, what's the special occasion?"  
>Bella opened up the cabinet taking out two wine glasses. She opened the bottle of<p>

red she had picked up at the store earlier that afternoon and poured them each a glass. She handed the first one over to her husband, "We need to talk."

Edward took the glass from Bella but didn't take a sip as he watched her grab two plates out of the cupboard and then a few napkins. He took his first drink when she walked out of the kitchen, taking the plates with her and setting them down on the coffee table in front of the fire. She made her way back into the kitchen, removing a pizza box from the oven and grabbing her own glass of wine, before glancing over her shoulder and asking, "You gonna join me?" as she left the room. Edward followed slowly behind.

Sitting down on the floor, propping his back up against the couch, Edward watched Bella open the box and pull them each out a slice placing one piece on each plate.

"Why do I feel like this talk isn't about us enjoying a date night and catching up with each other?"

"Wouldn't you like to enjoy a few bites of your dinner before I ruin the night? Eat up, Edward, it's vegetarian, your favorite." Bella took a bite of her own slice, trying not to squirm under his questioning stare.

Edward took a slow bite, putting no effort into enjoying his favorite pie from his favorite delivery joint. Bella drank almost half of her glass of wine after finishing her first taste of dinner. Whatever she had to discuss, it seemed that more than a little wine with dinner was necessary.

"So, how was work? Check on all your patients, everything all in line?"

"It was fine, typical Saturday, trying to get through the rounds while everyone has their family in visiting, so a few more questions thrown my way than my usual weekday."

"Well, I'm sure everyone was satisfied with your responses. Your sensitive bedside manner has always made you well-loved by your patients and envied by your colleagues." Bella took another drink of wine, "I think Marie has inherited that from you. I don't know if she'll follow you and Carlisle into medicine, but she tries to look after everyone, even complete strangers in need."

Edward relaxed a little into the casual conversation, asking about Bella's work and discussing whether or not Angela and Ben had give any further consideration to the possibility of adopting a child. Edward shared how he was considering taking time away from the hospital to join a team the local university was putting together that would be looking into new, less painful ways to treat severe burn wounds.

"These are some the top guys in the field! I hate leaving behind such a great staff that I've loved working with the past few years, but to be a part of something that could help people rebuild from such trauma without the physical agony, think of how amazing that would be!"  
>"It sounds wonderful, Edward," Bella refilled his wine glass, "I'm extremely excited for you, and you're right, it is a rare opportunity that the hospital couldn't fault you for taking."<p>

Edward cleared away their dishes and the pizza before coming back in the living room, watching his wife stare at the flames and finish off her second glass of Merlot.

"Okay, I've eaten, what gives, Bella? You're more than half-way to tipsy, and you don't seem to be slowing down. What's so serious that you need this much liquid courage?"

Bella glanced up at Edward before patting the spot on the floor beside her. Once he had settled into the space, she took a deep breath, "Edward, do you love, me?"

"Of course I do."

"No, Edward, really, are you in love with me? Not just an assumed love because we're married."

"Bella, we've been married for ten years, we have two wonderful daughters, we have good jobs, a lovely home, we don't really argue. We have a good life."

"See, that's just it, it is good, I'm not arguing with you there, but Edward, we're just living together. When's the last time we did something together because it was something that interested both of us? When's the last time you wanted to plan a weekend away with me, just the two of us? We're like comfortable roommates. Am I wrong here?"

Edward looked at Bella, "Is what we have not enough for you?"

"I don't know, Edward, but I think maybe it isn't. I do love you and I love the family we have made together, but I'm not sure I'm _in love_ with you anymore. I look at Rose and Em, and your mom and dad, and I still see that love sparking between them. That chemical rise and fall that spins out into a dozen different emotions, and yeah they fight, but they also love. They're not sharing a schedule and a housing location; they passionately pursue life side-by-side. I just don't think that's what we're doing, and I'm afraid that I'm going to get bitter and angry and then hate you years down the road. I don't want that to happen to us."

Edward looked into his glass, before tipping the rest of its contents into his mouth. Bella grabbed the bottle and poured the rest of it into his glass. He sighed before asking her, "So, what are you suggesting, Bella?"

"I think we may have reached the end of us, Edward. Not our friendship, but I think maybe the end of this marriage."

He considered her words, letting the silence settle between them, drinking from his cup while Bella went into the kitchen and retrieved a second bottle. She was right, the wine helped numb the seriousness of the situation.

"You know, I didn't mean for this to happen. I didn't think this would be our future when I asked you to marry me."

Bella smiled at the man beside her, the man she'd shared so many years with, "I know that and I'm not angry with you. I don't have any bitter resentment at all towards our marriage. I just know that we aren't the same people we were then. Maybe some people can marry young and grow together, side-by-side, but us? We grew up and realized that we actually don't share much in common. I like chaos and color and music and art and going out and seeing what the world has to offer, and you like to keep your finger on the pulse of science and politics, always wanting to know what's going on in the world. I don't need to know the headlines across the globe, I just want to know the people and see how they spend their days. Neither of us is wrong, Edward, but we just want different things from life. You pour so much of your time and attention into your patients, into being the best in your field, and the medical world is so very fortunate to have you, but you know what? I don't think I'm too old to have another child, to grow a larger family and I know you feel Renee and Marie are enough."

Edward took a long drink before looking at her, "Renee and Marie, what will we do?"

Bella placed her head on her husband's shoulder and her free hand on top of his, "They're your daughters too, Edward, I wouldn't keep them from you. We'll parent them much like we already do. Sometimes they're with me, sometimes they're with you. I'll work with your schedule at the university project. I'm not planning on moving away or taking them from their father."

"Are you scared that we'll turn into one of those nasty divorced couples?"

Bella had thought about how life would look like once they were no longer married, "I'm more afraid of losing your family. I love your parents, and Em and Rose. I'll miss Sunday night dinners and shared holidays."  
>"Bella, mom's not going to kick you out of the family," Edward gave Bella's hand a gentle squeeze and laughed, "In fact, I dare say, she may love you more than me. You're the daughter she never had. She's closer to you than Rose, and I don't think anyone's exactly fond of Alice given her recent activity."<p>

Bella let go of Edward's hand, taking a drink of her wine before gathering the courage to spill out, "Edward, I slept with someone."

"What?"

"I slept with someone else."

"Bella?"

"Yeah?"  
>"I did too."<p>

Now it was Bella's turn to act surprised as she looked at Edward who was suddenly finding he needed a refill in his glass, "You did?"

"Yeah, it was one of the nurses at the hospital. It was a busy night in the ER, bad accident came in, and I was called into a surgery that went on for hours. I don't know, I was on an adrenaline high when I was heading off to the private room to try and sleep. She's assisted me several times when I've been on ER rotation. We get along well, sometimes enjoying a meal in the cafeteria. It was just like this outlet, our falling into bed together that night. It didn't carry on past that, so I just tried to put it out of my head."

Bella thought maybe she should be upset, but she just couldn't, not after what she had with Jasper. In fact, Edward's was more a physical act, while she felt like more of a betrayer for having become so emotionally involved with someone without ending it with Edward first.

"Edward, I know we're talking about a divorce here, and I do want us to remain friends, but I think I may have done something that will make that impossible."

Edward just kept looking at her, wondering what else she could be keeping to herself.

"I've been having an affair with Jasper. Well more of an emotional affair, I mean we just started having sex recently, and I wasn't even going to do that, but then I just couldn't seem to help myself, and then I told Alice what we did, and now Jasper is angry and not talking to me, and…"

Edward grabbed her hand to stop Bella's rambling, "Woah, Bella, slow down. You're having an affair? With my brother?"

Bella put her face in her hands, "Oh, God, I'm going to hell. I told you, you were going to hate me."

"Wait a second, you haven't even given me time to process. You're the reason Jasper's been happier even though Alice is cheating on him?"

"Um, yeah."

"And, when you say emotional, are you saying you have feelings for him? This isn't just sex?"

"I was actually trying to be a friend to him when he found out Alice was cheating on him, and then we started talking more just about every day stuff and found out we're actually a pretty good match. Before I knew it, we were texting each other and trying to find a reason to share a lunch or dinner and then I was falling in love with him, and then he said he loved me that night we all went out on New Year's."

"Wow…I just…I don't…Jasper…" Edward stared at the fire.

"Oh, God, Edward, you must hate me. _Please_ don't hate Jasper. He's your family."

"No, no, actually, I'm just shocked, but I'm not exactly feeling angry or hating anyone right this second. I think it helps that I'm drunk. Wait till tomorrow, things might change. This is just really, really weird, thinking of my wife and my brother."

"I do love him, Edward. I realize we may never get to be together, given how "weird" it is, but I do love him."

"And, you told Alice?"

"Yeah, I took her a letter, well actually several letters, that explained what happened over the past few months. I left before she got a chance to read any of them, and Jasper texted me asking what I'd done, but I haven't heard from him since then."

"When was this?"

"Yesterday, he texted last night."

"Did he know you were going to tell her?"

"No, but I knew he wasn't going to tell her, and I couldn't keep going on like we were. I knew I had to tell you and that we needed to tell Alice before she found out some other way."

"Wow, what a mess. He's probably furious with you."

A few tears had started to slide down Bella's face, "I know, but I can't keep being some dirty mistress to him. Keeping this from you, trying to love him and not let anyone else see, it's been tearing me apart inside."

"I knew something was going on with you. We may no longer be in love with each other, but I do know you, Bella, and you remain a terrible liar, even after all these years."

Bella risked putting her head back down on Edward's shoulder and found he didn't move but just tipped his own head over on top of hers as they both watched the dying fire in the fireplace.

"I'm sorry, Edward. I should have dealt with our marriage before I went behind your back."

"Bella, I think I can accept your apology. You are right, we've been growing apart for awhile now, and I was just okay with going along with the way things have always been," Edward grabbed Bella's hand in his again, "But, I think I'm going to need more wine."

"Absolutely," Bella refilled his glass and hers as well.

"Are there any more surprises I need to know?"

"No, I think that's all I have. You?"

"I don't have anything, but I dare say, tomorrow's family dinner certainly looks a bit more interesting than usual."

Bella's head was already spinning from her drink and the conversation she'd shared with her husband. Edward had taken things better than she thought he would, and she was hoping his ability to accept her apology would last past the merlot's influence. But, tomorrow's dinner was another matter completely, and she wasn't sure she was ready for the aftermath of her choices.

**A/N: And that's the end of this chapter and the unavoidable reveal! For now, at least. We haven't really tied up all the loose ends yet, but that's all I'm typing out for this one. What'd you think of Edward? I realize this may not be how most people would think he'd react to the news, but I felt I conveyed that they had just drifted apart as best I could. Leave a review, though I'm a little terrified that people won't like how I played this out, but it is what it is. **


End file.
